Category

hazards to my well-being

Hurricane Preparedness

By | cool things i found on the internet, hazards to my well-being, hurricane preparedness, life's a beach, time and luck, weather | No Comments

I really only have two plans for this Hurricane Irma.

Plan A: Stay dry and don’t get injured.

Plan B: I’ll be on my roof upstairs balcony in a shark costume, sporting adult swimmies (for extra safety), and carrying a light-up trident (to command the seas). Because I’m pretty sure if given the choice between rescuing an average-looking blonde girl in a flamingo skirt or a shark wearing swimmies holding King Neptune’s spear shining like a beacon of hope in the howling wind, torrential rains, and rising water…you’re coming for the shark every time.

Disclaimer (for those of you with no sense of humor): My actual hurricane preparedness purchases included a vintage-inspired AM/FM radio, a spare battery for my 80s-style floating flashlight from Hurricane Matthew, a full tank of gas, and some water. If you need me before Sunday, I’ll be hiding in a corner, studying for the ham radio exam.

Why I’m Taking an Extended Break From 1/2 Marathon Training

By | fathom coffee, half marathon training 2017, hazards to my well-being, running | No Comments

I know, I know. I was doing so well. And then I stopped, and I never even told anyone why.

I went for run #6 (which I never blogged about because it was an utter pathetic excuse for a run) and realized I couldn’t straighten my knee all the way. I was having trouble even walking, let alone running. So I limped home, put some ice on my knee, and decided to take a break. A week later, no progress. So I went to Atlantic Orthopedic Specialists (who have evening hours from 4pm-9pm on weeknights – brilliant!), and after a few x-rays and telling my then-three-week-old tale about falling during run #4, I was diagnosed with a “really bad bone bruise” and  inflammation irritating all of the cartilage behind knee.

“You can run again when it stops hurting,” the doctor said. “And if it hurts again after you run, don’t run again until after it stops hurting again.”

“How long do you think it will take to stop hurting?” I asked.

“Could be one to six weeks from now,” he said.

Oops. 🙁

So, it’s been about three weeks since my doctor visit. A little over five weeks since I fell. My knee feels much better, but definitely not normal yet.

Hopefully I can get back out there soon.

In the meantime, I won an award. So that’s pretty awesome and makes me feel a little better. 🙂

My sponsor, Fathom Coffee, is now sponsoring my recovery. I am only using frozen coffee cubes to ice my knee. (I am kidding. That would be a complete waste of coffee. I’m just drinking cold brew while I ice my knee.)

R&R 1/2 Marathon 2017 Training Run #4

By | fathom coffee, half marathon training 2017, hazards to my well-being, running | No Comments

 37:16

3 miles

12:25 min/mi

 Pick your fucking feet up, genius.

 Half A Million – The Shins

Just short of a mile into this run, I tripped on some uneven pavement, fell, scraped both knees and my hand, shattered my iPhone screen, and ripped a hole in my Lilly Pulitzer leggings. So that was…graceful. Then I got up and ran the rest of my three miles, bleeding and listening to the new Shins album.

Luckily, I have like three other pairs of Lilly Pulitzer leggings, and John had a lot of Band-Aids ready for me when I got to his house for breakfast. And Fathom Coffee, which, as you know, is now a sponsor of this clumsy runner-in-training.

If you feel bad for me for falling like an idiot, feel free to buy some coffee and use code RUNLISA for 13.1% off your first order.

I would also like to point out that my total time and average pace do include the time I spent actively plummeting to the ground and a few moments sitting in the road, stunned, a little embarrassed, assessing the damage, and determining to keep going. So still better than yesterday! (Except for the bruises.)

The Type of Blog Post I Used to Write in 2004 (Alternate Title: Sharks Ruined My After-Work Beach Plans)

By | conversations, food, hazards to my well-being, summer | One Comment

Heather: How’s it going?

Lisa: It’s soooo hot. Do you want to go swimming in the ocean and then get some ice cream for dinner?

Heather: You want to go swimming with all the sharks?

Lisa: Oh. Sharks? I guess I’ll just get ice cream then. What sharks?

Heather: Haven’t you read about the sharks all over the place? There were like two at 78th street.

Lisa: I mean, I read about that shark eating people down in North Carolina, but… I guess I’ve been really busy.

Heather: Have you been watching The Bachelorette?

Lisa: Those guys should all leave. Sharks? Really? What are you doing right now?

Heather: Yeah. We really need to find someone who has a pool. Going to Applebee’s.

Lisa: Applebee’s is disgusting. I gotta go. I need to order my ice cream.

P.S. Speaking of sharks, this guy seems like a cool person.

P.P.S. Eleven animals more likely to kill you than sharks.

Gluten Full…On Crazy

By | food, gluten free, hazards to my well-being, not ruling at life | No Comments

Untitled

I think gluten makes me a certifiably crazy person. Because lately, I’ve been eating all kinds of delicious breads and cookies and cakes and pastas and such things. And I’ve also been worried and freaking out and randomly crying and acting like a complete loon and seriously contemplating whether I need a mental health professional in my life. And while it seems like suddenly everything in my life has been falling apart for the last 2.5 weeks…March 12 is coincidentally when I started eating gluten again. I remember it quite clearly because I took a picture of this meal I made an “exception” for. Those up there, my friends, are Swedish pancakes. And they were delicious. And you know what else was delicious? Pizza. Lasagna. Cheez-Its. Veal parmesan. Italian bread. Birthday cake. Chicken strips. Chocolate chip cookies. Macaroni and cheese. Sandwiches. Multiple, multiple sandwiches on real bread. Toast. Pretzels. More chicken strips. Ranch dressing. Real soy sauce. Chinese food. Fortune cookies. I think you get the point.

So tonight I’m going to have one more pizza dinner, and then tomorrow it’s back on the gluten-free wagon. And I’m not looking for sympathy or attention or whatever else people on the Internet assume people who post stupid crap like this on the Internet are looking for. I’m just posting this here because I know if I put it on the Internet, I’ll actually do it. And because last night I said this to myself and DIDN’T post it on the internet, and this morning I ate a fucking donut for breakfast.

So note to self (and no one else, really): Get it together.