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Hurricane Preparedness

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[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”in_container” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]I really only have two plans for this Hurricane Irma.

Plan A: Stay dry and don’t get injured.

Plan B: I’ll be on my roof upstairs balcony in a shark costume, sporting adult swimmies (for extra safety), and carrying a light-up trident (to command the seas). Because I’m pretty sure if given the choice between rescuing an average-looking blonde girl in a flamingo skirt or a shark wearing swimmies holding King Neptune’s spear shining like a beacon of hope in the howling wind, torrential rains, and rising water…you’re coming for the shark every time.

Disclaimer (for those of you with no sense of humor): My actual hurricane preparedness purchases included a vintage-inspired AM/FM radio, a spare battery for my 80s-style floating flashlight from Hurricane Matthew, a full tank of gas, and some water. If you need me before Sunday, I’ll be hiding in a corner, studying for the ham radio exam.

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