Dear Livejournal,

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I’ve decided that it’s all your fault that I don’t post in this blog anymore. I’m the type of person who gets crazy attached to inanimate objects, so I haven’t been able to accept that I may have to move the LJ to another website. (Can a website even be classified as an inanimate object?) The thought of migrating the LJ to another site makes me think about what will happen to all of my tags (especially the posts tagged “lj”). I’m seriously considering moving though. For real this time. You want to know why? Because when I drive through a New Jersey intersection after midnight and see a muscly-looking dude standing in the middle of the road outside his vehicle, trying to force a black t-shirt over his fedora-ridden head, I want a cool place to jot that down. Especially if, when I roll down the window, the guy yells, “I swear, he farted,” pointing at his passenger (who is still inside the vehicle). “He farted and I can’t even get into the car!”

I also would love to have someplace to brag about how I won a trip to St. Maarten at work and how I think my hair color is more interesting than everyone else’s. And I seriously doubt that readers of my other blog would respect me very much if I posted there about how I fell backwards down some concrete steps in Norfolk trying to take photos of my own outfit with the custom timer feature on my point-and-shoot camera. I need this blog for posts like that, you know?

You have until December, LiveJournal. Become cooler or I’m pulling the plug.

Your author (formerly known as the Pineapple Enthusiast)

This crazy trip has got me feelin’: annoyed
And I’m singin’ along to: Clean Getaway – Maria Taylor

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