1. Your little cousins volunteer you to help coach their softball team.
2. The security guards in your gated community ask if you can get them discounted tickets to upcoming concerts.
3. Everyone thinks your job is the best thing since Vespas.
4. You’re tan enough to pull off wearing the black emo glasses in public.
5. Your new favorite quote is “If you cross the line, your nuts are mine.”
6. You can sing all the lyrics to Catch-22, Buck-O-Nine, Reel Big Fish, and Dashboard while navigating through Las Vegas weekend traffic without getting killed.
7. You consult an Arby’s Oven Mitt toy (by asking ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions) when making minor social planning decisions.
8. You can finally admit that being back in high school would be pretty cool.
9. You drive around town with a tumbleweed bouncing around in your rear window.
10. You valet park at the movie theater like it’s nobody’s business.
