Number of hours spent driving barefoot: 2.5
Number of times heard the song “Black Balloon” by the Goo Goo Dolls: 3
Number of huge Slim Jims consumed en route: 1
Number of bathroom stops: 1
Number of fuel/coffee stops: 1
Number of times lost cell phone signal: more than 12
Number of turns into my neighborhood missed: 2
Number of dollars spent on tolls/bridges: 14
Number of screaming fans rushing to the Malibu to greet me, take photos, get autographs and carry in all my shit: 0

All in all, it was a pretty decent trip. I’ll be in Jersey until Sunday. Let’s go to Bar A.