Skip to main content

fabio the hamster

The Packing Motif

By fabio the hamster, packing 3 Comments

This morning I found out that I will be leaving Las Vegas on April 13th. I will be packing up my stuff here and driving back across the country to New Jersey where I will be faced with the enormous task of packing up my stuff there because my parents just sold our house.

Hopefully, my room is pretty neat – I can’t really remember how I left it – because I find packing to be a dreadfully boring task that often turns into a fiasco. I’m sure you remember my past packing experiences, such as this one, as well as my lack-of-packing experiences, such as this one. Apparently, packing has become a recurring theme over the past few months.

Well, I only have 15 days left here in Vegas, so I’d better get out and enjoy the desert sun and spend some quality time with the little cousins. Of course, leaving Fabio will be devastating – perhaps I should consider packing him, too.

Uh oh, Fabio.

By conversations, fabio the hamster, little cousins 5 Comments

Aunt Kim: “Sam, you are not in bed.”

Sammy: “I KNOW.”

Uncle Franky: “Kim, look at this. Don’t touch it. It’s gonna get all over. Oh, look what you did. It looks like there’s an animal living in this house.”

Sammy: “Fobs IS an animal.”

Aunt Kim: “Oh! I’ll have to suck that up with the vacuum tomorrow. Sam, get to bed. Frank, give your daughter a kiss goodnight.”

Sammy: “Dad, are you gonna grow a mustache?”

Uncle Franky: “Why? You want me to?”

Sammy: “No.”

Uncle Franky: “I’m gonna feed Fabio to the cat.”

Lisa: “Can I have his TV?”

Introducing Fabio the Hamster

By fabio the hamster 10 Comments

Fabio the Hamster

After all I’ve written about him, I think it’s about time you got to see Fabio the hamster for yourself.

There he is.  My third roommate.  Fabio.  The hamster.

This crazy trip has got me feelin’: chipper
And I’m singin’ along to: Found Out About You – Gin Blossoms

The Big Squeeze

By conversations, fabio the hamster, little cousins, sims 8 Comments

Lisa: “Sammy! Would you be quiet for like five minutes? Does she ever shut up?”

Sam: “Guys, do you wanna take some pictures? Do you? How does this work? I took a video. See this rotten foot thing? See it. Look. Don’t you want to see this? Where is that button. Maybe if I just push this button. Mossaleena callakunia! Mossaleena! Should I try to — eehhhhhh — I’m taking a picture! Flashy flashy!”

Lisa: “Sammy! Shut up! Stop singing that Sim crap. If you don’t chill, you’re dad is going to come in here and kill that stupid Fabio in a bloody murder.”

Kristin: “Yeah, Sam. You better calm down and stop screaming.”

Sam: “Can I turn this on? Lisa, can I turn it on? Lisa. Lisa! Can I? Lisa, can I?”

Lisa: “Dude. Don’t you see that I’m not responding to you because I don’t want to hear your voice in my ear at the moment?”

Sam: “Is that a yes? Look! I turned it on. It’s amazing! It’s so amazing. Look. Look! Mossa–”

Lisa: “SHHH! If you wake him up, your dad is going to come in here and squeeze that stupid rat until its stomach pops up through its mouth and it’s little dookies are gonna come flying out of its nostrils. It’s gonna be gross. And you’re going to have to clean it up. Be quiet or you’ll be cleaning clumps of rat fat and fur off the walls and it will be nasty and it’ll take you a week to find its slimy, slimy brain because that will be the first thing to come shooting out of the top of it. I bet its brain is green. What if it lands on your pillow?”

Sam: “Fabio!”

Lisa: “I’m gonna look up pictures of the real Fabio online.”

Sam: “I wanna take pictures of Fabio! Fabio! Fabio, let’s go Fabio. Picture time. Come here you little hamster hamster.”

Kristin: “Lisa, get a picture of the hamster. It’s gonna make noises when it gets squeezed to death when she doesn’t shut up.”

Lisa: “This is the real Fabio.”

Kristin: “Scary.”

Lisa: “It says here, ‘If that guy wants to date someone Fabio hasn’t, he should date guys.’ Way to be cocky there, Fabio.”

Sam: “Fabio. Want me to squeeze you, Fabio? Want me to squeeze his throat out? I don’t like you anymore named after that man. Fabio. Get out of the dookie food Fabio. Don’t squeeze in that hole! Say cheese, Fabio.”

Lisa: “Sammy, use your indoor voices.”

Sam: “His little finger is on me! Fabio! Don’t be afraid of the flash, Fabio. FABIO! Get away from there, Fabio! Get in the picture!”

Kristin: “Sam, stop feeding that bloated rat and put it back in its cage.”

Sam: “Are you feelin’ me? I can’t imagine Fabio being squeezed. Kristin, are you feelin’ me? That’s what all the boys say – you know, all the rapper dudes.”

Lisa: “Get it out of my face!”

Sam: “Guess what. Rat butt. Guess why. Rat die.”

Kristin: “Put it away.”

Sam: “Fabio. Get out of that hole. Night Fabio. Wanna hear a lullabye? Mossaleena callakunia.”

Kristin: “Sam.”

Sam: “Bye Fobs.”

Lisa: “Sammy, don’t touch my computer.”

Sam: “I typed a ‘Q’.”

Lisa: “Dude. I’ll squeeze it. Kristin, get me the rat.”

Sam: “No, NO! FABIO. Fobs is sleepin’. Leave him alone. His name is Hootie.”

Lisa: “I thought his name was Boots.”

Sam: “His name is Hootie! HOOTIE! HOOTIE! His name is Hootie!”

Kristin: “Hootie?”

Sam: (in an indescribable low breathy voice, comparable to a barfing noise, emphasizing the first syllable of the word) “Huutie.” (slaps her chest twice)”Huutie.” (slaps her chest twice) “Huutie. HUU HUU HUUtie.” (slaps her chest twice) “HUUtie.”

Lisa & Kristin: “Shut UP!”

Sam: “Hootie.”

Fabio the Hamster

By conversations, fabio the hamster, little cousins 7 Comments

Sammy: “Make sure Fabio doesn’t get out.”

Me: “That’s his name?”

Sammy: “No, that’s his nickname.”

Me: “Oh.”

Sammy: “His real name is Boots.”

I watch to make sure Fabio/Boots doesn’t get out until Sammy gets back from the bathroom.

Sammy: “FABIO! What are you doing?  Bad!”

Me: “What did he do?”

Sammy: “Awww, look at his pokey pokey head! Aww, he’s lookin’ out!  Awwww!  BAD FABIO!  What are you doing?  Stop kicking your food.  You need to be punished!”

She takes out the hamster and tosses it up in the air a few times.

Me: “We used to do that to my friend’s hamster.”

Sammy: Laughs

Me: “It died.”

Sammy: “WHAT? How?  How did it die?  Oh, FABIO.  Kiss, kiss Fabio.  Aren’t you glad I feed you?  Go in your hole.  Night night, Fabio!”

Me: “I thought his name was Boots.”

Sammy: “Fabio.”