I keep losing my work ID badge, so I finally decided to slip it into the lanyard with my Nerd Herd ID from Halloween and start wearing it around my neck. I don’t mind wearing my Nerd Herd badge all day because I’ve pretty much come to terms with the fact that I am, in fact, a huge nerd.

For example, last week at work, someone said to me, “I heard you’re really good at designing forms.”

I’m not really sure how I feel about this. Is that my claim to fame? I’m good at designing forms?

It is true that I designed a form that replaced six other sheets of paper that now accompanies every order that is processed in our company, but I was just trying to save trees.

I’ve always striven to be infamous for my overwhelmingly short-lived obsessions with random hobbies, rock star bangs and impeccable taste in music, purses and cheap champagne. At work, maybe my proposal management, writing, or mad computer skills. But certainly not my ability create forms.

Someone once said to me (right after I created the end-all-be-all of my company’s forms), “You should work for the IRS!” Oh, yes! Can I? I would fit right in there! 😐

Perhaps, though, it’s all the other things I’m good at that have culminated in my evolution as a form-creating genius. Examples:

• Nosiness about what everyone else is doing = ability to create meaningful check boxes for more than five departments
• Excellent writing skills = enthusiasm about paring down hundreds of words into clear, concise phrases
• Graphic design tendencies = ability to fit more information than you’d ever think possible onto one sheet of paper
• Appreciation for ISO 9001:2008 = dedication to continuously improving, updating, revising, and controlling the form in our document control system
• Certain enjoyment about telling people what to do = the utmost in patience when I explain how to use the form to everyone who needs to use it
• Diplomatic negotiation skills = willingness to incorporate all reasonable suggestions into future revisions of the form
• Rockstar bangs = I’m cool even though I’ve pretty much just admitted that designing a form has been the apex of my professional career thus far
• My sarcastic sense of humor = my witty e-mails to the entire company that say stuff like:

To: Everyone
From: Lisa
Date: Any Given Friday
Time: 4:59 pm

Subject: (Name of Form) Form Revision G

Hi everyone! Revision G of the (Name of Form) Form is now in effect. Please destroy all copies of Revision F. All orders turned in starting now must be accompanied by Revision G. I sent out several reminders this week, so please don’t call me in tears about your form, and have a great weekend!

Peace, love and document control,
Lisa

Now that I think about it, this might be why people at work don’t call me to hang out on the weekends. Maybe.