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technological enigmas

Poke Off

By being a computer genius, breaking news, facebook, technological enigmas 3 Comments

Whether you like it or not, Facebook has launched its application platform – enabling idiots all over the world to create stupid shit for more idiots all over the world to add to their Facebook profiles.

Personally, I’ve never been a big Facebook user, but I decided to pop in and check out the new feature. Two words – complete mayhem. You know I don’t like stupid people, so you can imagine my feeling of utter glee that there are now discussion boards where people exchange views on intellectually stimulating topics such as these:

From the X Me Application Reviews
1. “in my box it says ‘Hug You’ and i want it to say ‘Hug Me’ how do i do that?!?”

2. It says, “Hug You,” because you are signed in as yourself. To everyone else, it will say, “Hug Her,” just like the poke button says, “Poke Her.”

From the PopSugar 100 Application Discussion Board
1. it would be a lot better if you could organize the list of celebrities you had once you added them all so you can change who you want to be first and whatnot..instead i have to add them in order which is kind of difficult

2. Yeah, I’d prefer it if my celebs were in the same order as they are on my teamsugar page. It’s a little random for me as it’s linked to the celebs I already chose on sugar.

From the Catbook Application Discussion Board
1. Baka got a human friend (Dave). When he got Dave as a friend, Baka also instantly became Catbook friends with Dave’s cat, even though the two cats have never met. Why? Can cats remove friends?

2. on the same vein, why can’t my cat be friends with other cats? I have to be friends with the owners of those cats before my cat can be friends with their cat. I dont’ want all those human friends; just the kitty friends!

3. Is there a way for me to add people to the Family section? Obviously, I am my cats’ family, but so is my husband. We shouldn’t have to both have separate catbook profiles for our cats. And the cats shouldn’t just be his friend.

What the hell is all this crap? The only good I see coming out of this is the iLike application, currently growing at a rate of 200,000 new users per day, finally bringing a soundtrack to the Facebook experience. 

Final thoughts? Count me out. I consider myself pretty Internet-savvy, but this is a little too much freedom for me – my head is spinning.

A Brief History of How I Developed My Computing Skills

By being a computer genius, games, gen y, life-changing purchases, lj, memories, myspace, really great money-making ideas, ruling at life, school, skills, technological enigmas One Comment

It occurred to me this morning that I have been fumbling around with computers for approximately 20 years now. It’s no wonder I’m such a computer genius.

Playing on the computer used to be so much more fun. For example, making banners with the first version of The Print Shop, and printing them out on that primitive, perforated printer paper with the holes on the sides! Yay for the old school Apple II series (which recently celebrated is 30th anniversary).

My first instant messaging experience
I sent a message from the family room computer to the computer in my parents’ bedroom. Then I ran in there and sent a message back to myself in the family room. Then I ran into the family room and sent a message back to the bedroom. (Notice how this used to be less of a social networking experience and more of a physical activity.)

Early gaming
I definitely learned a few things from Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? – mainly the states and capitals, the locations of various foreign countries, and the beginnings of my impeccable detective (aka “Internet stalking”) skills. I liked Carmen San Diego much, much more than The Oregon Trail. The only thing I learned from that game was how to ration money and kill off the rest of the people in my wagon in order to keep more food for myself.

Adopting e-mail
My first e-mail address was (Don’t try to e-mail me there. AOL sucks, and that address doesn’t exist anymore. The AIM name Atlantys23 still belongs to me, however, and you might catch me on there once in a blue moon.) I used AOL to keep in touch with friends from summer camp and hang out in the occasional teen chatroom (13/F/NJ u?). Those chatrooms always turned into an insult-fest. I vaguely remember typing something along the lines of “well, you have the IQ of a tube of toothpaste” to more than one stupid ass in another time zone. By this time, Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? was a television show.

Keyboard brilliance
I learned to type in high school, but luckily I still got to take my standardized tests on paper with a No. 2 pencil and an answer sheet. (Do kids still take SATs with pencils anymore?) According to multiple online typing tests, I type approximately 103-108 WPM.

My computers
When I started college in 1999, I had a computer that was solely mine for the first time ever. It was a piece of crap. It would freeze, and the power button wouldn’t turn it off, and I would have to pull the plug and kick it to turn it off and start over. (This probably had something to do with all of the music I was illegally hoarding off Napster and Limewire.) I learned the value of saving my work every five minutes, along with grasping the concept of an ethernet cable, being connected to the Internet 24 hours a day, managing multiple e-mail accounts, and using the computer to communicate with people in the next room.

In 2000, at Virginia Tech, I got my second computer. That one worked a lot better. I learned how to reformat my own hard drive and operate a computer while under the influence of alcohol. I also discovered the usefulness of an FTP site and submitted my homework online, and I was the proud owner of a pirated version of Windows XP by the time I graduated college.

Internet omniscience
If you’re an avid reader of this blog, I’m sure you remember the arrival of my post-graduation laptop. All hell broke loose! I came to terms with wireless Internet, I mastered [the basic concept of] HTML code, I started up the LJ, and I I finally broke down about two years ago and created a MySpace page. I’ve found roommate after roommate on; I pay my bills online; I’ve got more than four functioning e-mail addresses; I’m on my second iPod and my fourth digital camera; I’m making money off of at least four different websites while I sit here at my desk (Associated Content, CafePress, SurveySavvy and eBay); I’m working hard on developing my new Virb profile, and my pride and joy at the moment is my 250GB external hard drive (that my awesome boyfriend gave me for Christmas). You’ll get more results Googling “VTJerseyGirl03” than you will “Lisa DeNoia,” and I even have an abbreviated version of my online alias (VTJG03) on my license plates!

So, there you have it – how to become a computer genius in 20 years.

Anyway, back to work (and Internet browsing, and solitaire, and MySpace, and Facebook, and Virb, and Google, and e-mail, and Vision, and…you get the point).

Oh, and at some point during this 20-year technological revolution, Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? became a board game?

An Update On Stephen Getting A Job

By conversations, employment, technological enigmas 3 Comments

Stephen ambles into my room pre-shower this morning, hair tousled, no shirt, and states, “I’m going out to get a job.”  I give him one of those raised-eyebrow, yeah-okay-why-are-you-telling-me kind of looks before returning to what I was doing on my computer.  “Don’t tell mommy,” he says.

“What?” I begin to wonder why he’s out of bed before noon.

“Don’t tell mommy.”

“Whatever, Stephen, I don’t care.  Get out.”

“No, really, don’t tell her.”

“Where are you going to get a job?”

“I’m going to go get the graveyard shift at FoodTown from midnight to 5 a.m.”

Another raised-eyebrow look — this time of the you’re-so-stupid-and-you-don’t-even-know-it sort.

“Chris Lee is gonna do it, too.  It’s gonna be freaking awesome.”


“I’m not gonna tell mommy.  When she asks you where I am, you just tell her I’m out with my friends.”

“What is the point of this?”&nbsp It crosses my mind that I don’t recall FoodTown becoming a 24-hour establishment.

“She won’t know I have a job, but I’ll be out all night until 5:00, and I’ll have money in my pocket.”

I look up at him and he’s got this satisfied expression on his face like this is the most intelligent scheme he’s ever thought up.  “Stephen,” I say.

“Just promise you won’t tell her I have a job.  Shake on it.”  He extends his hand.

I start to extend mine in return and hesitate.

“Come on.  Shake my hand.”


“Shake my hand, and promise you won’t tell her. Shake on it.”

“Fine, I won’t tell her, but I don’t want to shake your hand.”

“Just, would you just shake my hand?”

“Did you wash it?”


“I’m not shaking on this stupidity.”

He puts his hand out and I reluctantly shake it, wondering why my VT Webmail page still hasn’t popped up.  This whole wireless Internet thing baffles me.

Stephen laughs and mumbles something like, “Yesssss,” before exiting the room.