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Robbie Roommate bought a BMW last night.

By conversations, roommates, ruling at life 2 Comments

Lisa: “So, when you got up this morning, did you think you’d be writing a check at the BMW dealership?”

Robbie Roommate: “Um, no. That was the last thing on my mind.”

Lisa: “See? This is proof that crazy and unexpected things happen. All because your ditzy roommate pulled into the wrong driveway. You might have ended up with a Toyota.”

Robbie Roommate: “Hmm, yeah, maybe you just ruined my life. Or maybe you just saved it.”

Lisa: “Where’s the Nelly CD?”

(Puts CD in.)

Robbie Roommate: “Oh, I think it’s skipping.”

Lisa: “Damn. That’s the song. Why is it doing that?”

Robbie Roommate: “Don’t know. Listen to it skip.”

Lisa: “Let me see that.”

(Takes CD out.)

Robbie Roommate: “Yeah, just throw that shit out the window.”

Lisa: “No, no! I can fix it.”

(A short pause.)

Robbie Roommate: “What are you doing?”

Lisa: “Just wait. Do you care if I lick your CD?”

Robbie Roommate: (Looks at Lisa, dumbfounded.) “Sure, go ahead. Lick my CD. You’re crazy.”

Lisa: “Maybe, but I bet it works now.”

Robbie Roommate: “Whatever.”

Lisa: “Trust me.”

(Puts CD in.)

Robbie Roommate: “What? How did you do that?”

Lisa: “Told you.”

A Conversation With Robbie Roommate Regarding Sheets

By conversations, roommates No Comments

Lisa: “How awesome is it that I bought these sheets over a year ago and then I bought this bedskirt two weeks ago and they match perfectly?”

Robbie Roommate: “Yeah. What kind of sheets are those?”

Lisa: “I don’t know. Whoa! Feel them.”

Robbie Roommate: “Wow. Those are some sex sheets right there.”

Lisa: “What?”

Robbie Roommate: “I don’t even think I could sleep on those sheets. I’d just have–”

(A long pause.)

Lisa: “Well. There was an incomplete sentence.”

Robbie Roommate: “Yeah. I’m not finishing it.”

Lisa: “Those sheets are probably like lingerie to guys. You’d pull them out, put them on your bed for wild sex, and then take them off and just put them away until next time, huh?”

Robbie Roommate: “Huh. Yeah. Probably right.”

Lisa: “These sheets are going on my bed immediately.”

(A short pause.)

Lisa: “Hey Allison! Feel these sheets!”

304

By roommates, virginia beach 4 Comments

So, I’ve finally moved into my apartment and I even have almost everything unpacked. Apparently, 304 has already turned into quite the cool place to hang out. We have ample couch space, enough dishes to feed a small country, and it always smells nice here due to the excessive amount of candles that Allison and I light on a daily basis.

We have a huge TV, a nice stereo, and two really neat lamps in our living room. Our deck is enormous – it’s almost as big as our living room, and our kitchen is just plain awesome. It will be even more awesome tonight when there’s a case of Bud Light and some more food in the fridge, but it’s still pretty cool at the moment.

In my room, I have my huge piece of furniture from Ikea that has three mirrored doors, a desk, a cabinet/dresser, a nighttable, and my bed. I also have my TV and TiVo mounted on the wall. It is definitely very Hawaiian in my room – as usual.

Robbie hasn’t moved in yet, but he and I will be sharing the bathroom with is decorated in pineapples and dark green. It sounds cheesy, but it looks really nice — I think the white shower curtain with green bamboo on it pulls it all together.

We’ve already been having people over for dinner and movie-watching and all kinds of fun stuff like that. Allison’s friend Candice was here from Arizona this week and Andrea will be coming to visit from Roanoke this weekend. You should come visit, too!

This crazy trip has got me feelin’: busy
And I’m singin’ along to: Valentine – The Get Up Kids