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Splish Splash

By roommates One Comment

Ever since we moved into this damn apartment we have had a shortage of hot water. I don’t understand how an apartment can run out of hot water. Shouldn’t it be like a dorm where the hot water is neverending? Whatever. We asked maintenance to come turn up our hot water heater a few months ago, and they did, but we still don’t have enough hot water to fill up an entire bathtub.

I love taking baths. Allison loves taking baths. Kristina loves taking hot showers. We are sick of taking lukewarm baths and showers.

Tonight, I had a little extra time on my hands before bathtime, so I filled up the largest pot I own with water and put it on the stove until it was boiling. I ran a bath with the water as hot as it would go until it was almost full and then I poured an entire pot of boiling water into it. It was lovely. It stayed so hot for so long that I had to take a cold shower and drink three huge glasses of ice water afterwards to cool down.

I am so resourceful.

The New Tom

By conversations, games, roommates, sims One Comment

Allison: “The new Tom looks kind of like a black man. He’s turned on by blonde hair…”

Lisa: “And red hair.”

Allison: “And red hair. And turned off by black hair.”

Lisa: “Is he really a black dude?”

Allison: “No, he’s just wearing a bandana.”

Widowed

By conversations, games, roommates, sims No Comments

Kristina: “Then he called and I was laying in bed playing The Sims 2 on my Nintendo DS.”

Allison: “Oh, by the way, Tom’s dead.”

Lisa: “What?”

Allison: “Yeah, who do you want to marry? Now I gotta make someone else to take care of you and the kids.”

Lisa: “I don’t know.”

Allison: “I don’t even know what happened, he just up and croaked. Now, this sucks. It’s still the Valentine family, but there are no Valentines in it. There’s Lisa DeNoia, Kevin DeNoia and Jenny DeNoia, but no Valentines.”

Lisa: “Why are they all named after me?”

Allison: “They’re your kids.”

Lisa: “Shouldn’t they have been named Valentine after Tom?”

Allison: “You guys weren’t married. You just woohoo’d in the bed and shit.”

Lisa: “Great.”

Allison: “You guys have a sick ass house, too.”

Lisa: “So do you have to sell of our stuff now?”

Kristina: “Yeah, so they can afford to live?”

Allison: “Nah. There’s a cheat code.”

Bah Humbug!

By holiday fun, memories, roommates, ruling at life 4 Comments

Last night Allison and I were driving home from York County, reminiscing about our old apartment. We miss our old aparment. Our new one smells funny all the time.

We remembered how we put up our Christmas tree on Robbie’s birthday last year while we cooked him dinner and baked him a cake. We remembered our “roommate date” to Shula’s 347 and the day we picked Robbie up from the airport after one of his trips out in the field for work. We remembered the night we had a dance party on our kitchen counter.

Then we remembered how we always used to find cool shit in the trash area – furniture, lamps, mirrors, etc. – so we decided to pull into our old apartment complex and take a peek.

Then we remembered how those bitches kicked us out and how miserable they made us.

So, we pulled up to the office and stole the crappy Christmas wreath that was hanging on their front door.

Serves you right, Banyan Grove. If you bitches want your wreath back, you can come get it off our living room wall.