not ruling at life

Post-Lunch Update

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1. It is now so bright and cloudless outside that the sun reflecting off the water is literally blinding me in my office.

2. On second thought, I don’t think I’m a big fan of pineapples in muffin form.

3. The batteries have just run out on my CD player.

Silly Me

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1. Okay, I lied. I spent at least six minutes scrambling to find a scarf and mittens to wear to work this morning because I looked out the window and it looked extremely cold and windy. Once I made it out the door, I found that it is warm and windy – like 67 degrees warm.

2. By the time I was halfway to 264, I realized I was so distracted trying to locate a scarf that I totally forgot the heap of clothes I was going to drop off at the dry cleaners on the way home.

3. It is, however, raining, and there are lots of wet, brown leaves flying about.

Lucky Me

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1. When you have a real job and you go away for a week, it is very likely that you will come home to a pile of work on your desk and an even larger pile of clothes to take to the dry cleaners.

2. If I have to spend any more time on the phone with the Gateway technical support line, I am going to become violent. (Note: If you are ever in charge of choosing the hold music to play on a phone line, do not choose Coldplay. Coldplay does not sound attractive over a cell phone.)

3. Our kitchen smells like salsa and I have burned my tongue on cinnamon-flavored oatmeal.

4. It’s cold and windy outside.

Friday the 13th

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It’s been awhile, so I figured I’d better sit down and write something before I lose everyone’s attention. I know you’re all bored at your “real” jobs and probably disappointed in my lack of entertaining material.

Unfortunately, Norton AntiVirus scans my computer at this time on Friday nights and it’s making a dreadfully annoying noise that will not allow me to think straight. Sorry.

Crash & Burn

By employment, not ruling at life 3 Comments

Earlier this evening, as I was laying on my bed, huddled in the corner, crying into a Hawaiian-print pillow, I came to the realization that I have finally come crashing down from whatever high-on-life state of euphoria I was living in a few weeks ago. Perhaps it has been the weather, or the lack of running, or the fact that I gained two pounds. Maybe it is just that I came to terms with the fact that my friends from work are bimbos and that the only guy I even had a semi-crush on since the ex-boyfriend is dumber than a rock. I suppose it could also be that everyone else has a “real” job and I’m still being a slacker. Or that being superficial and shallow and living out of a Tumi backpack and frequenting smoky bars every night just isn’t for me. Who really knows? I don’t. I don’t know what I was so damn happy about in the first place.

I think what really happened is this:

Right around the time that Jamie came to visit, I started to notice that my bimbo friends from work kept getting wasted every single night of the week and that they were pretty stupid. I also noticed that the bartenders were idiots and that the only person worth talking to at work was a chain-smoking drug addict, so I figured my social life was about to take a dive. Seeing Jamie reminded me of my former, more meaningful (yet boring) life. Then I received an e-mail from the ex-boyfriend (who I should stay away from) that brought about a feeling I can only describe as complete and utter relief that I still had someone to talk to that understands — someone like me.

The ex-boyfriend and I have been e-mailing and I have been reading books and doing crossword puzzles and searching for jobs on the Internet again. I visited Richmond this weekend, and I managed to get a run in this afternoon. I feel like my life is going back to normal — I’ve stopped obsessing over designer clothing and Neutrogena Build-A-Tan.

However, an immense frustration has accompanied all of this. I’ve been frustrated all day. Frustrated that I didn’t get into Navy OCS earlier this year, frustrated that I don’t know why the boy is e-mailing me, that my “friends” from work are so not stimulating, that I am waitressing with a college degree, that I am doing bad at Weight Watchers, that I have no life plan, and that I am thinking way too much again. I’m especially frustrated that I can’t go back to being content and oblivious the way I was two weeks ago.

What the hell happened?