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Hurricane Lisa

By lj, weather One Comment

Hurricane Lisa is a small tropical cyclone. She’s just under 5’1″ with long, blonde hair, green eyes, and a Michael Kors bag. Hurricane force winds extend outward up to 10 miles and tropical storm force winds extend outward up to 60 miles.

Since learning of the presence of my name on the 2010 hurricane name list two years ago, I’ve been eagerly anticipating my storm. I was hoping for a destructive Category 5 that would come tearing up the coast leaving all kinds of floods and fallen trees in it’s path. It would take out anyone who’s ever wronged me and wipe out any trace of power for a few days, leaving me with a few days off of work (and no hope of being on the Internet, since I feel like the Internet is commandeering my life).

Lisa popped up as an organized system of thunderstorms on September 19 and formed into Tropical Storm Lisa the following day. We all got very interested in her, but she just kind of hung back and chilled out over the Cape Verde Islands, pondering her next move. Then she weakened into Tropical Depression Lisa, and we all thought she was done. But, she wasn’t because then she changed back into Tropical Storm Lisa and then into….Hurricane Lisa! Yay!

Turns out, my cyclone took after me more than I thought. She was kind of an enigma. She changed at least six times before deciding what she wanted to be, and then she got lost on the way to the party (no sense of direction whatsoever) and ventured north into cold water, which rapidly weakened her again to a tropical storm, tropical depression, and finally, my worst nightmare…Lisa became a remnant. Ugh. A remnant? Am I destined to become a remnant?

Nah, probably not. I’m sure my name will end up back on the list in a few years. In the meantime, I’ve been working on designing the new and improved Baby, You Can(‘t) Drive My Car over at WordPress. It’s coming along! I’m hoping to unveil it sometime between October and December, depending on how the layout comes along.

Anyone have any suggestions for the new blog? I’m pretty sure I’m going to stick with the road trip theme. Let me know what you think.

This crazy trip has got me feelin’:  windy
And I’m singin’ along to: Hurricane – Something Corporate

Dear Livejournal,

By blogs, lj, new jersey, posts in the form of letters One Comment

I’ve decided that it’s all your fault that I don’t post in this blog anymore. I’m the type of person who gets crazy attached to inanimate objects, so I haven’t been able to accept that I may have to move the LJ to another website. (Can a website even be classified as an inanimate object?) The thought of migrating the LJ to another site makes me think about what will happen to all of my tags (especially the posts tagged “lj”). I’m seriously considering moving though. For real this time. You want to know why? Because when I drive through a New Jersey intersection after midnight and see a muscly-looking dude standing in the middle of the road outside his vehicle, trying to force a black t-shirt over his fedora-ridden head, I want a cool place to jot that down. Especially if, when I roll down the window, the guy yells, “I swear, he farted,” pointing at his passenger (who is still inside the vehicle). “He farted and I can’t even get into the car!”

I also would love to have someplace to brag about how I won a trip to St. Maarten at work and how I think my hair color is more interesting than everyone else’s. And I seriously doubt that readers of my other blog would respect me very much if I posted there about how I fell backwards down some concrete steps in Norfolk trying to take photos of my own outfit with the custom timer feature on my point-and-shoot camera. I need this blog for posts like that, you know?

You have until December, LiveJournal. Become cooler or I’m pulling the plug.

Your author (formerly known as the Pineapple Enthusiast)

This crazy trip has got me feelin’: annoyed
And I’m singin’ along to: Clean Getaway – Maria Taylor

Vitamin A

By fashion statements, lj, weather No Comments

Does anyone even post on LJ anymore? I occasionally contemplate the fact that I should have just migrated the LJ over to Blogger instead of starting a whole new blog over there. Then I wouldn’t have to feel twice as bad when I slack off and don’t post for weeks at a time.

Anyway. I took the day off today to go to the beach because the weatherman says it’s going to be a blazing 85 degrees before a cold front sets in to put a damper on the weekend. I’m thinking about wearing my new Vitamin A bathing suit (as opposed to my old one) that I bought on Rue La La over the winter.. I like to start off the season in my bandeau tops to avoid tan lines, which works out okay since the water is too cold to swim anyway. Bandeau tops + waves = topless beach, so I don’t wear them as much after May is over.

I’m feeling a little skeptical about this latest bandeau top though. Like, I’m not sure if it will even stay on if I hit a large bump while I’m driving to the beach. It’s super cute though. I could double-sided tape it to myself, or I could return it, but I think we all know I’m just going to wear it, risk it falling off, and complain about it all day. Oh well. At least it was on sale.

Constant with a K

By concerts, employment, fabio the hamster, hot lead singers of bands, las vegas, little cousins, lj, memories, music, not ruling at life, top notch communication blunders 2 Comments

The other night I saw Jack’s Mannequin at the Norva. It made me think of my time in Las Vegas – sharing a bunk bed with my 10-year-old cousin, laying on the floor, idly tapping out some LJ entries to the tune of Andrew McMahon’s irresistible voice (still Something Corporate back then) while I casually sipped glass of wine. The window would be open, and the sounds of the little cousins chattering would echo through the house. It was funny, at first I hated how loud that house was, but when I left, I couldn’t stand the sound of silence for quite a few months. My idea of quiet became the muffled sounds of laughter and video games drifting up the stairs while the door was cracked and the cat kept trying to sneak in. The occasional witty comment I overheard was enough to keep me inspired and keep me writing whatever LJ work of art I was creating at the time. And Fabio the Hamster. He could keep me going all night long.

You know I used to keep a mini notebook in my purse? I used to write down interesting quotes and song lyrics and funny ideas all day long and then blog about them later. I concentrated so hard to writing these hysterically satirical posts that I usually forgot I was supposed to be figuring out what to do with my life. Those were the LJ’s golden days. I remember now.

You know what else I remember now? My favorite lyrics to "Konstantine" by Something Corporate.

"I had these dreams in them I learned to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rock star."

Before MySpace; before Facebook; before my vapid second blog about materialistic bullshit that requires zero creativity, the LJ was my constant source of inspiration. Sure, it made you laugh, but best of all? It made me laugh. Constantly.

There was no writer’s block, and there was no wasting all my silly thoughts in a one-sentence status update. Whatever happened to composing an entire thought? An entire anecdote? An entire story?

Maybe it’s because I spend my days at work writing proposals. It’s not the most creative writing, but it’s a lot of writing. Maybe I just get it all out of my system at work, and I don’t feel like writing for fun anymore. 

Speaking of writing proposals at work – today a person who was supposed to be feeding me some narrative for a program management plan sent me some text. As I read the first few sentences, I grew suspicious of the fact that it sounded extremely too general and nothing like the rest of his writing. Needless to say, I Googled "program management" and soon came to the realization that he copied the entire program mangement plan from freaking Wikipedia.

Anyway, maybe someday Something Corporate will get back together. And maybe someday, I’ll be inspired to bang out some hysterically satirical posts again. Maybe soon.


By lj, ruling at life 3 Comments

You know, I spent about three hours reading some of my old LJ posts tonight, and I’ve decided something. I’ve done some really cool stuff, and I am freaking hilarious.