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Dec 19 2013

10 Years Later

By Lisa D. birthdays, blogs, events, friends, lj, memories, milestones, ruling at life, technological enigmas, what have you been doing for the last 10 years? 3 Comments

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In case you didn’t notice all the celebrating going on around here, this blog turned 10 years old today. Ten years ago to this very day, I spent about three hours configuring my first LiveJournal, wrote a pretty short, pretty pointless post, and rushed out the door to a party.

Then all of this happened. Plus some other stuff.

And here we are, a decade later. At first when I thought about the fact that I’ve been blogging for almost a third of my life, I was surprised. I’m kind of the most noncommittal person I know. But then I remembered that I started writing in my first diary on December 25, 1987 at the age of six. Really, the only difference was that I didn’t have internet access yet.

I used to carry around these little notebooks in my purse. I would write down funny things that occurred throughout the day and refer back to them later when I was ready to type out a post. Then along came MySpace and Facebook to start draining me of all my good ideas long before I could get around to blogging them.

As the internet, social networking and blogging grew up around me, I thought maybe I could make money off my site if I blogged about more products or material objects that people could buy. I was interested in clothes and photography, so I started a second blog to write about style and fashion. I tried focusing on a topic, growing my readership, and “writing for my audience,” but I felt so materialistic and fake. Plus, keeping up with a second blog was like having a split personality. Lots of times I felt like I couldn’t live up to the persona I created on the second blog, but other times I felt completely the opposite — as though that blog wasn’t really living up to me. So, I merged all my favorite posts over to this blog, shut the second one down, and proceeded to have an eight-month-long identity crisis about the name and subject matter. =)

It’s kind of incredible that after 10 years of doing it, I’m not a better, more “successful” blogger. I don’t have thousands of followers, millions of comments or any idea how to monetize this site. That used to bother me. I thought, “People must think I’m really stupid to just write in a blog for no reason.”

But the thing is, I’ve realized I don’t care about any of those things or what anyone else thinks. I’ve always loved my blog for exactly what it is — a random collection of thoughts and anecdotes I don’t mind sharing with the world. Concentrating on one topic is so not my strong suit. Clothes, food and vacations are not what defines me as a person. And as for my audience…no offense, but I don’t really care what you want to read. Because there’s no one on this earth that loves to read this blog more than I do. And if I could only read one blog for the rest of my life, it would be this one. Over and over again. I assume that if you come here, you want to read whatever I write, and I’m the best at writing when I’m writing whatever I want.

That being said, it also turns out having other people write my blog posts isn’t such a bad idea either. I had these grand plans about choosing my 10 favorite posts and sharing them with you, but then I realized I’m way too narcissistic to pick just 10 favorites. So, I delegated that task to some of my favorite friends/loyal readers. I’m getting better at that — delegating. =)

I’m so grateful for all of my guest bloggers over the last 10 days. All your posts made me feel like I was hosting the best party in the world, where my blog was the guest of honor and all my favorite people were in attendance. And since most of you are either expecting newborns, scattered around the country, or way behind on your Christmas shopping, having you all right here was the perfect alternative to celebrating in real life. Cheers to you, my friends. Your words are worth a thousand pictures in this case, and here’s hoping we’ll all be sitting around re-reading them for the next 10 years.

So, there you have it. Ten years, 722 published posts, 1,684 comments, and I have no idea how many views because there was no way to track that until 2010. Coming up next: the usual Year in Review, Final Resolution Update of 2013 and next year’s list. Oh, and whatever the f- else I feel like posting. =)

I hope you’ll stick around, but I’ll still be here writing either way.

Peace out.

Lisa

This crazy trip has got me feelin’: accomplished
And I’m singin’ along to: She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5

Dec 19 2013

Love0

10 Years, 10 Friends, 10 Days: The Inspiration

By Lisa D. blogs, boys, guest posts, links, lj, memories, milestones, navy, ruling at life, what have you been doing for the last 10 years? One Comment

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Inspiration
Ten years on

By Stephen DeNoia

The Coastal Chicster. Baby You Can(‘t) Drive My Car. Ramblings of a Pineapple Enthusiast. VTJerseyGirl03. Ten years on, Lisa’s blog is still thriving, still rolling, still scrolling. Maybe she should get that tattooed across the backs of her shoulders: “Still Rolling, Still Scrolling”, with like an old script, quill, and scroll motif. On second thought, it might sound like she’s just an internet addicted ecstasy popper.

Lisa asked me to pick my favorite post from her blog and write about it in honor of her 10 year mark. I was honored, and the very next morning I started perusing through her old stuff because I knew I would find my favorite buried somewhere in the archives of ’04 or ’07. But the more I read, and the more memories got conjured up, and the more I noticed the maturity level increase as time went on what I found is that I cannot possibly choose a favorite. With that being said, if I absolutely had to choose ONE post that is my favorite then I choose post number 1. The origin post. The beginning of an era. The birth of something magnificent, with a title that speaks wonders to me: “Stephen inspires me…” It isn’t a long post. It isn’t deep. It doesn’t provoke any reader inward into their own thoughts and feelings. It isn’t even very long. Four sentences to be exact. And they are by no means the four favorite sentences I’ve ever seen her write. The title on the other hand – that’s what gets me. It gets me every time. See if you can follow me as I explain my reasoning.

You see, here we have a blog that has made us laugh when we needed to, or stop and think about the state of the country – or even the world – just when we were so content with our everyday lives. This blog has even moved some of us to tears, happy or sad. In 10 years, Lisa has gained a strong following and matured into an artful, witty, and talented writer. Her blog has transformed – no, evolved into an amalgamation of fashion advice, easy living tips, and funny anecdotes all blanketed underneath a healthy coat of plain old good sense.

These days I like to read about her New Year’s resolution updates the most, but I also take a lot of pleasure out of reading about her cats and trips/vacations. She has also developed quite a knack for photography and the pictures she takes are always worth the extra look. Even her fashion posts hold some value to me. As a guy who is engaged to be married, it isn’t the most terrible idea to keep up on women’s fashion. To be honest, I think my fiancé may have been somewhat impressed with a few things I knew about the subject when we first started dating, all taken from Lisa’s pages. (Thanks, Sis, ever the trusty wingman!) Maybe she’ll start doing a few pieces for the guys.

There’s also plenty of fond memories, like the time she came home a little too tipsy for her own good from Bar A and a trip to the Princess Maria Diner, and proceeded to sing Manfred Mann’s version of “Blinded By The Light” as she fell out of her chair, laughing hysterically about how she was “gonna have to write about this in the – hiccup! – the morning!” I don’t think she ever did get around to it though. Or the time she accompanied my parents down to Pensacola to visit me after graduation from A-School. We spent the weekend buzzed on the beach or poolside at the Margaritaville Hotel. Lisa has always been one of the best people to share a drink with. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes she knows how to relax just right.

Maybe it’s just that I had the chance to be a part of something special, with those late night phone calls about the future of the blog. But more likely I think that it’s this: This blog has inspired me. From tracking Lisa’s employment status during those shaky years in ’03 and ’04, to keeping up with her New Years’ resolutions, I have found myself striving for new heights when I needed to the most. I don’t think I ever told her just how much her blog meant to me, but it’s something I look forward to reading for a long time coming, no matter what she’s writing about. So to think that I was able to inspire her, even if it was just that one time, is really something else. Thanks, Lisa. Keep “ruling at life.” Here’s to 10 years past, and 10 more to come.

Feeling: Happy
Music: All Along the Watchtower- Jimi Hendrix

Dec 16 2013

Love0

10 Years, 10 Friends, 10 Days: The Pen Pal

By Lisa D. blogs, boys, friends, guest posts, links, lj, memories, milestones, new jersey, pineapples and palm trees, what have you been doing for the last 10 years? No Comments

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Post #7 from my old favorite pen pal, Richard Hicks. He and I used to keep an e-mail chain going that must have been a hundred pages long. Richard Hicks is the type of guy who starts a blog (or multiple blogs), writes a whole bunch of cool posts, and then deletes them, so you can never go back and read your favorite ones. Well, not this time, mister. This post is staying here permanently. =)

When Lisa asked me last week to contribute a guest post for her blog’s 10th anniversary, my first thought was: Holy crap, it’s been a decade since we started blogging? And my second thought was: Wow, it’s going to be really hard to write something that succinctly captures how awesome Lisa is, and what a great writer she is.

First, a little history: Lisa and I first met when I was in middle school, and our mutual friend Chris Tamayo invited her to our neighborhood basketball court to shoot some hoops. Chris had a crush on Lisa, and in our adolescent dude brains we thought it would be a winning strategy to invite her over and wow her with our nonexistent awesome basketball skills. The plan was that we’d all get on the court, and Lisa would watch Chris sink a couple of 3s, recognize him as the next John Stockton and profess her undying love for him right then and there. If you’ve met Lisa, you know that she’s not the most physically imposing person, and watching her shoot free throws on an eight-foot basket is a lot like watching two-year-old Trick Shot Titus gazing up at the 10-foot hoop at Wichita State. Her height disadvantage notwithstanding, she schooled us on the court that day — in both around the world and the complexities of winning a woman’s affection.

Lisa and I continued to cross paths a bit in the years that followed — mostly, again, because of mutual friends. In high school she dated a guy named Mike, and their relationship was about as serious as a teenage relationship could be. Mike went on to Virginia Tech after high school, and Lisa went to JMU and ended up transferring to Tech after her first year so she could be with Mike. Mike was a great guy, and all indications were that he and Lisa would get married after college. While Lisa and Mike were in their relationship, I was in an equally serious relationship with one of Lisa’s best friends, Jamie, and it became just as sure a bet that Jamie and I would get married after she finished college and I got settled into my first assignment in the military. Against all odds, both relationships ended, and over time and across the miles, Lisa and I drew closer as friends — at first to try to help each other get over the breakups, and then later because I kept seeing more and more what a great person she was.

In 2004 I transferred to Japan, and during the two years I was there I kept in touch with Lisa regularly. Just about every Saturday morning I would trek over to the Internet cafe on base to do two things: call my family and write Lisa an email. On a weekend trip up to Nago Pineapple Park on Okinawa, I gathered up a bunch of pineapple trinkets and sent them to Lisa (the inaugural name for Lisa’s blog was actually “Ramblings of a Pineapple Enthusiast”). When I left the military in 2006 and moved back to NJ, Lisa and I would get together whenever she was home and go for a run on the Belmar boardwalk or the running track in our hometown municipal complex. I drove down to Virginia Beach one weekend in 2007 to visit her, and we went to a Shins concert at The Norva and bought each other T-shirts (I still have mine, but since the only size available at the concert was small [not a problem for Lisa], it was converted into a dust rag a couple of years ago). We hung out with a couple of her friends in Virginia Beach (in my usual way of remembering dogs more than people, I don’t remember the friends’ names, but I remember that they had a boxer), and one of the friends told me in a sidebar conversation that Lisa always got him an “A” when she edited his college papers. We agreed that she was the best writer and editor we’d ever met. To me, she still is.

I went back to her old LiveJournal to refresh my memory for this guest post (we both started LiveJournals in 2003 — Lisa kept up with hers, and I think mine fizzled out after post #2), and as I was clicking through her post archive, memories started flooding back. I laughed out loud at these two conversations Lisa had with her brother, Stephen: (1) “An Intelligent Conversation With My Brother”; and (2) “An Update on Stephen Getting a Job.” Her early 2004 posts about her little cousins are all great (the guest post that her little cousins submitted last week is a must-read). I think my all-time favorite post, though, is one Lisa wrote on Memorial Day weekend in 2004. It captures everything about summer at the Jersey Shore that I love and miss.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably a fellow fan of Lisa’s blog, and you don’t need to be assured that it’s worth your time to keep reading. For anyone who hasn’t been fortunate enough to meet Lisa in person, and only knows her as a two-dimensional Internet person, please accept my assurance that the person behind the blog is just as smart, funny and awesome (and fashionable) as you know her to be here. Happy 10-year anniversary, Lisa! Keep writing!

Dec 10 2013

Love0

10 Years, 10 Friends, 10 Days: The Little Cousins

By Lisa D. concerts, conversations, events, fabio the hamster, guest posts, hot lead singers of bands, las vegas, links, little cousins, lj, memories, milestones, music, ruling at life, what have you been doing for the last 10 years? 4 Comments

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{2004}

Guest post #2 comes to you from two of the four infamous little cousins. There are actually a lot more little cousins in my family, but I’d bet money this blog wouldn’t exist right now if I hadn’t spent three months living with these cousins in Vegas back in 2004. They were a constant source of entertainment and my inspiration to write every single day while I was out there. Sometimes I posted three times a day just because they made me laugh so hard.

Courtney: Shortly after moving out to Las Vegas, NV my siblings and I were informed that our cousin Lisa was going to be moving in with us for a while.

Kristin: I will always remember when my mom told us that Lisa was moving in with us. We could hardly wait for her to arrive, and all of us kids thought we were so cool, having our big cousin as a houseguest. We were all CRAZY excited, but we didn’t know how awesome it would be. Just the prospect of having our older cousin living with us was cool enough. Like the nerds Courtney and I were, we ran around the block bragging to our neighbors/friends that Lisa was moving in.

Courtney: My little sister’s room was quickly transformed into sleepover central when the bunk beds were put in along with a sweet TV with TiVo, (and, of course, Fabio the hamster).

Kristin: One of the best nights Lisa told us that she had a surprise for us and that she was taking us out for the night. After finding out we would be leaving soon, Court and I scrambled to figure out what to wear.

Courtney: My mom dressed me up in an outfit I would absolutely regret wearing later that night. Let me paint you a picture, I was wearing jeans a black t-shirt with a purple sparkly oversized cardigan. I looked like a Grandma.

Lisa: Oh, you don’t have to paint a picture. Here you go. =)

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Kristin: Lisa did our hair and makeup, and then we were off. Lisa brought us into the House of Blues restaurant, where we ate delicious food and had some killer Banana Pudding for dessert.

Courtney: As we were finishing up dinner, she surprised us with tickets to the Simple Plan/MxPx concert.

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Kristin: It was the best night EVER! When Lisa surprised us with the tickets, and we FREAKED OUT. It was the coolest thing, and we were OBSESSED with Simple Plan.

Courtney: We had been obsessing over Simple Plan for months. Obsessing includes buying trucker hats, patches for the hats, buying posters, buying wrist bands, and blasting music in the car.

Kristin: It’s true. We were OBSESSED with Simple Plan. It was an amazing show, but Courtney passed out for the last band, MXPX. We laughed so hard, because it was so loud, and so exciting, but Court was sound asleep.

Courtney: I didn’t fall asleep for the entire last band! After shrieking and screaming lyrics while Simple Plan performed, it was time for MXPX to take the stage, and it turned out I couldn’t hang. MXPX, quite literally the loudest band ever, were awesome, but I found my mind and body had different things in mind. I wanted to dance and yell, but my body decided that falling asleep during a concert was a better idea—and that was just sad. While I never actually fell asleep, I remember sitting back on the seat for one song because I was so tired.

Kristin: Whatever, Court.

Courtney: Upon arriving home, we proudly told our parents that we were partially deaf from the loudness of the concert, and then proceeded to fall asleep while Lisa wrote a blog entry about our excursion.

Kristin: All in all it was probably the coolest thing we’d ever done while living in Vegas.

Courtney: It was my first real concert and Simple Plan was definitely some of the best performers I’ve seen live.

Kristin: There were a ton of other perks that accompanied Lisa living with us. Courtney, Ellie, and I convinced my mom for a few weeks that Fridays were OPTIONAL school days, so instead of school we went to the Fashion Show Mall.

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Courtney: We would tell her, “Friday this week is optional! I swear we’re watching movies in every class!”

Kristin: Lisa drove us around Vegas while we screamed the words to countless Sugarcult and Simple Plan songs.

Courtney: There really was nothing like screaming “Stuck in America” by Sugarcult to the guards at the gate in our neighborhood.

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Kristin: Looking back now, that was most likely TOTALLLY embarrassing for you L, BUT IT WAS AWESOME for us.

Lisa: Not as embarrassing as the day you idiots started ripping the security stickers off the CDs at Barnes & Noble and throwing them through the detector to set the alarms off. Or the day you wouldn’t stop going up the down escalator at the mall and then I had to take you to Build-A-Bear…

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Kristin: Lisa drove us to the movies, she took us out to eat, and she took us to SKYZONE! Wall-to-wall trampolines, you can’t find anything much more awesome than that. We would look forward to Lisa taking us there all week. And once again we thought we were so cool every time Lisa took us out somewhere.

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Courtney: We wouldn’t have done half of the stuff we did if she didn’t live with us. We would have never discovered the trampoline place, or have gone to the concert, or play American Idol by the pool with heels on. It would have been dull without her there.

Kristin: Samantha’s room was the THE PLACE to be in our house, because that’s where Lisa was.

Lisa: The craziest things happened in that room. I mean, what are we doing here? Am I singing into the TiVo remote?

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Kristin: She showed us the ways of TiVo, and introduced us to “America Dreams”, as well as countless bands and songs we’d never heard before.

Courtney: The best nights were when “American Dreams” would be on and all of us girls would be glued to the TV for the hour it was on, or when Simple Plan would debut their new videos on MTV and we would watch them over and over again. It absolutely amazed us that Lisa could rewind live TV — we never had TiVo before.

Kristin: We also watched and giggled as she posted on her LiveJournal every night. The stories on the blog about Vegas never get old. Fabio the hamster is a classic, and it still cracks me up every time.

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(Here is a picture of Fabio the hamster, a brief mention of him potentially being in imminent danger, a long post about him being in imminent danger, and a short post about him being in imminent danger.)

Lisa: You know what else was embarrassing? The fact that I drove around with that stupid tumbleweed in the rear window of the Malibu the entire time I lived there.

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Kristin: I must say though, that the most memorable thing that happened while Lisa lived with us was the dildo incident.

Lisa: Nothing is more embarrassing than the fact we are suddenly discussing a dildo on the front page of my blog right now.

Kristin: I am confident in saying that it was the FUNNIEST moment of my life. I went to college in 2008 and one night we were telling funny stories, and of course, I told the dildo story. I wanted to tell it just right, so I got onto Lisa’s blog and read it from there. Everyone lost it. I could hardly read it though the tears I was laughing so hard. It was just so ridicules. Dinner screeched to a halt when our neighbor, Shelli, came busting through our front door and started shouting for my parents. Everyone though Samantha and Amy must have died or done something terribly wrong, but it turned out that they were outside on their motor scooters with a giant dildo in their hands. Lisa and I decided to stay and eat, but the laughter and screams of outrage from my dad clued us in. We both just sat there laughing while listening to all the yelling.

Courtney: I love that Lisa blogged while we were out in Las Vegas because every time I get bored I’ll click on one of the many Fabio stories, or other memories from Vegas and smile. It was one of my favorite places to live and I love reading about all of the crazy and silly things we did.

Lisa: Here I am blogging in Vegas. Can’t say much has changed. I sit on the couch now. =)

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Kristin: Looking back through Lisa’s blog is like reliving Vegas and all the adventures she took us on. And half the time the stories were so crazy that no one believes them until we steer them toward her blog. That year in Vegas was the most fun out of them all, and I’m not just saying that. It really was, and I miss it!!!! Everyone stay tuned for the crazy stories to come when we get the old group back together and party in Vegas!! (WE HAVE TO DO THIS.)

Lisa: Oh, that is definitely happening. If only so I can document the entire experience right here. Thank you guys so much for this. You two, Sam and Franky are the best cousins a girl could ask for, and I miss you! I can’t wait to see you in a few weeks. =)

{2012}

Apr 03 2011

Love0

500 Posts Later

By Lisa D. blogs, lists, lj, memories, milestones, ruling at life 15 Comments

I realized this week that the next time I updated this blog, it would be my 500th post. Five hundred posts. My mind started racing with how I was going to celebrate this milestone in my life, and I just started thinking…

One day, I started a LiveJournal. I wrote a few posts about some random crap, and used it to plot out my New Year’s resolutions a few weeks later. It was the dawn of a new era. I went to California. I got a new laptop. I started running. I made fun of my brother. Twice. I pondered the validity Bermuda Triangle theories. I began to discover my blunt, satirical writing style. I fought with my brother about music, and decided once and for all I liked blogging about conversations. My best friend turned 21, and I wrote my first drunken post. I moved to Las Vegas (and spent 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 days driving there with my mom, which would later serve as inspiration for this blog’s road trip theme). I spent my first night in Vegas in the emergency room. Fabio the hamster made his debut. I took my cousins to the movies. I started to love Las Vegas. I found a lucky charm (which I still bring with me on all job interviews). I attended an alcohol management class, where I watched a video narrated by a talking Jim Beam bottle. I took my little cousins to the mall. I saw a rainbow. I began having bad luck with bananas (this has continued for years — everyone knows I can never find a decent banana, and if I do, something bad happens). Fabio the hamster officially got his name. I started thinking I was cool. I wrote about food, exercise and tumbleweeds. My little cousins found a sex toy in the street. I sent a guy to jail at work. Fabio the hamster feared for his life. I started searching for a new job. My aunt almost burned the house down. I got my first freelance writing gig. I wrote a really pointless post in the form of a screenplay. I posted a photo of Fabio the hamster. I described myself in one word as irresolute, which is ironic if you consider the fact that I spent the next seven years tracking my resolutions on this blog. Fabio the hamster feared for his life again. My cousins took a day off school. My cousins got punished. I turned 23. I left Las Vegas (a changed person for having lived there with my little cousins for 2.5 months), and spent 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 days driving back to New Jersey with my mom. I missed my cousins. I missed Las Vegas. I missed Fabio the hamster. I formulated a new plan (which never actually happened). I took myself out for hibachi. Rich wrote a letter to the mayor of Belmar. Four things irritated me. I went to a diner with some random ass people. I found new ways to lose weight. I made a short-lived attempt to give up beer, which lasted through at least one trip to Bar A by myself. I was happy. I was a waitress. Memorial Day came to the Jersey Shore. A semi-colon possessed my friend’s TV. I made some cool friends at work. I partied like a rock star. A quiz educated me that I was a “consummate hipster.” I realized I was having the best summer ever. I went to a lot of bars. I moved to Howell (with my parents). I crashed and burned. I fielded dumb questions working in restaurants, and I started to get sick of waitressing. I scrambled to find a new job. I figured out why I would never meet a guy in New Jersey — because I decided I was totally against boys shaving/waxing their arm hair. I took a short break from posting. I moved to Virginia Beach. I settled in. I got writer’s block. I discovered Wawa. I enjoyed my new job. I moved into my first apartment with two roommates — Robbie and Allison. I decided I was “ruling at life.” I was happy again. I licked a CD. I made a drunken list while I was home for Thanksgiving, and then decided I was ready to go. I was baffled by the weather. I tried to be more fun. I posted a recap of my 2004 resolutions. I created a soundtrack for my life. I made my 2005 resolutions. Robbie got on a plane. I got on a plane (a C-5). Allison and I tried to steal soda from Arby’s. I played poker. Allison and I became lazy. I started to embrace texting. I texted Tom. I boarded a submarine. Robbie and I went to Vegas. I went to New Jersey. I daydreamed about the lead singer of Maroon 5 rescuing my from my boring job. Robbie and I went to Las Vegas again. I turned 24. Allison and I scored tickets to see Green Day. I listened to the President on TV. I drank wine at work. I had a bad hair day. Allison and I got free Munchkins. I decided to win the lottery. We met some idiots. I forced my roommates to play the “Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego” board game. I spent a weekend alone (during which I sang karaoke, washed my car, and ate sloppy joes on hot dog buns). I got caught up after a little break. I did a bunch of stuff I’d never done before. I hung out on my porch. I let Allison convince me to enter a mini-skirt contest…on the wrong night. Mark came to New Jersey with me for Thanksgiving. I went to Las Vegas again. Allison and I stole a Christmas wreath. I hung out on a destroyer. I got a Tumi purse. I posted a recap of my2005 resolutions. I made my 2006 resolutions. Allison became obsessed with The Sims. I made $20 without even trying. I indulged in a hot bath. A bunch of random crap happened. Allison moved out, and Tom moved in. Tom had trouble communicating with Kristina’s boyfriend. I proposed to the lead singer of Jack’s Mannequin. I bought a condo. I wrote a letter to Santa. I bought a machine gun necklace. I posted a recap of my 2006 resolutions. I made my 2007 resolutions. Amy made her 2007 resolution. I bought a new car, which I would later name “The Spacepod” and hate with a passion for the next three years. My favorite author died. A tragedy happened at my alma mater. I drank beer at work. I pondered the future of technology, and reminisced about how I developed my computer skills. I ate Krispy Kremes with a fork and knife. I painted the master bedroom in my condo. I posted a recap of my 2007 resolutions. I made my 2008 resolutions. I voted. I ruined my dinner. I celebrated my one-year anniversary with my pet fish. I formulated opinions about the financial crisis. I posted a recap of my 2008 resolutions. I made my 2009 resolutions. I started looking for a new job because I realized that my company was being run by idiots. I started a new style blog. My fish died. I posted a recap of my 2009 resolutions. I made my 2010 resolutions. I complained about the weather. I remembered I was funny. I compared kids to cats. I gave Heather diet advice. I considered fishing a mint out of a public trash can. I bought a teapot. I formulated an opinion on healthcare. I figured out how to get rid of wrinkles. My cat puked on the carpet. I was allergic. I got self-tanner on my chin. I criticized The New York Times, people who cause oil spills, and Facebook. I celebrated Cinco de Mayo. I Googled myself. I bought a pork loin, and then finally got around to cooking it. I had hopes the economy was improving. I fell. I got mad at LiveJournal. I got mad at my mortgage company. I got mad at my neighbor. A hurricane was named after me. I moved to WordPress. I tried to refinance my condo. I got a haircut. I made a mess in the kitchen. I traveled back in time. I posted a decade’s worth of Halloween photos, and then a few from this year. I discovered Arby’s Prime Cut chicken tenders. I made a gingerbread house. I was snowed in…for a long time. I wrote a letter to the governor of Pennsylvania. I posted a recap of my 2010 resolutions. I made my 2011 resolutions. I was quoted in the Wall Street Journal. I saw a guy’s ass crack at yoga. I got mad at my mortgage company again. I got the worst fortune cookies ever. I wrote an HTML tutorial. I held out hope that I might still be able to refinance my condo…and then I gave up because I realized it just wasn’t going to happen. I found a new roommate. I exaggerated the growth of my fig tree. I had a nice Valentine’s Day. I went on an amazing vacation in St. Maarten. I failed at snacking. I took a day off work. I argued with a pharmacist. I admitted that I Google everything. I created an amazing form. And finally, the other day, I complained about the weather some more.

That’s about it. I’m not going to include any photos or proofread this eight million times. I’m just going to post it like I usually do, and keep my fingers crossed that one or two people will be able to read through that entire run-on paragraph and find something entertaining in there.

Whether you’ve been along for the ride for seven years or seven days, I hope you’ve enjoyed this crazy blog.

And now I’m going to go start working on my next 500 posts while you start clicking on those links. =)