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The New Tom

By conversations, games, roommates, sims One Comment

Allison: “The new Tom looks kind of like a black man. He’s turned on by blonde hair…”

Lisa: “And red hair.”

Allison: “And red hair. And turned off by black hair.”

Lisa: “Is he really a black dude?”

Allison: “No, he’s just wearing a bandana.”

Widowed

By conversations, games, roommates, sims No Comments

Kristina: “Then he called and I was laying in bed playing The Sims 2 on my Nintendo DS.”

Allison: “Oh, by the way, Tom’s dead.”

Lisa: “What?”

Allison: “Yeah, who do you want to marry? Now I gotta make someone else to take care of you and the kids.”

Lisa: “I don’t know.”

Allison: “I don’t even know what happened, he just up and croaked. Now, this sucks. It’s still the Valentine family, but there are no Valentines in it. There’s Lisa DeNoia, Kevin DeNoia and Jenny DeNoia, but no Valentines.”

Lisa: “Why are they all named after me?”

Allison: “They’re your kids.”

Lisa: “Shouldn’t they have been named Valentine after Tom?”

Allison: “You guys weren’t married. You just woohoo’d in the bed and shit.”

Lisa: “Great.”

Allison: “You guys have a sick ass house, too.”

Lisa: “So do you have to sell of our stuff now?”

Kristina: “Yeah, so they can afford to live?”

Allison: “Nah. There’s a cheat code.”

Geography Skills

By games, roommates, ruling at life 5 Comments

In response to Sunday’s appalling lack of U.S. geography knowledge, I decided to take action. I did what anyone in my situation would do — I purchased the “Where in the USA is Carmen San Diego?” board game from a thrift store for 99 cents and cajoled my roommates into playing it with me on the deck last night in the sweltering heat.

After finding some makeshift “agent” playing pieces (pebbles from our coffee table candle display) and looking up the instructions for the 1993 edition on Yahoo!, Robbie won when he made an impressive arrest of V.I.L.E. henchman Li Non Mee at Frostbite Falls, North Dakota for stealing Amber Waves of Grain. Then we all worked together to track down Carmen San Diego by placing each of our three state capital tokens on their corresponding states in the 35-second time limit. What a burst of excitement!

After that, Allison and I walked to Dairy Queen. We figured we deserved a treat for being such geniuses on the subject of U.S. trivia. It was still pretty hot out and we were dodging slugs and caterpillars left and right as we cut through the Kmart parking lot. But, it was all worth it for her Blizzard and my large Diet Coke.

In my opinion, everyone should be an expert on U.S. states. Unfortunately, we don’t all have the 1993 edition of the “Where in the USA is Carmen San Diego?” board game at our fingertips, but if you’d like to brush up on your skills, I would suggest learning where the states are located or at least testing your knowledge of state names. Have fun!