An Update On Stephen Getting A Job

By conversations, employment, technological enigmas 3 Comments

Stephen ambles into my room pre-shower this morning, hair tousled, no shirt, and states, “I’m going out to get a job.”  I give him one of those raised-eyebrow, yeah-okay-why-are-you-telling-me kind of looks before returning to what I was doing on my computer.  “Don’t tell mommy,” he says.

“What?” I begin to wonder why he’s out of bed before noon.

“Don’t tell mommy.”

“Whatever, Stephen, I don’t care.  Get out.”

“No, really, don’t tell her.”

“Where are you going to get a job?”

“I’m going to go get the graveyard shift at FoodTown from midnight to 5 a.m.”

Another raised-eyebrow look — this time of the you’re-so-stupid-and-you-don’t-even-know-it sort.

“Chris Lee is gonna do it, too.  It’s gonna be freaking awesome.”


“I’m not gonna tell mommy.  When she asks you where I am, you just tell her I’m out with my friends.”

“What is the point of this?”&nbsp It crosses my mind that I don’t recall FoodTown becoming a 24-hour establishment.

“She won’t know I have a job, but I’ll be out all night until 5:00, and I’ll have money in my pocket.”

I look up at him and he’s got this satisfied expression on his face like this is the most intelligent scheme he’s ever thought up.  “Stephen,” I say.

“Just promise you won’t tell her I have a job.  Shake on it.”  He extends his hand.

I start to extend mine in return and hesitate.

“Come on.  Shake my hand.”


“Shake my hand, and promise you won’t tell her. Shake on it.”

“Fine, I won’t tell her, but I don’t want to shake your hand.”

“Just, would you just shake my hand?”

“Did you wash it?”


“I’m not shaking on this stupidity.”

He puts his hand out and I reluctantly shake it, wondering why my VT Webmail page still hasn’t popped up.  This whole wireless Internet thing baffles me.

Stephen laughs and mumbles something like, “Yesssss,” before exiting the room.

Stephen’s Views On Getting A Job

By conversations, employment 7 Comments

After watching two rather dramatic episodes of JAG (one from Season 1 and one from Season 3), Stephen made a snide remark about my checklist. (If you do not know about the checklist – you’ll have to ask. It’s somewhat embarassing.) He told me the checklist was pathetic. I told him I had no life and nothing to do and that I made the checklist out of boredom. He then said, “I can’t believe that I already signed up for the Coast Guard and I have a job lined up and you don’t and they’re making me either get a job or pay rent and you don’t have to.”

“Stephen,” I replied, “your job doesn’t start until July. I have no job because I’m moving to Las Vegas in 12 days.”

“Yeah, but even if you didn’t go, they wouldn’t make you get a job.”

“Stephen,” I said, “if I weren’t moving to Las Vegas, I’d be moving to Richmond, and if I weren’t moving to Richmond, I’d stay here, and either way, I’d need a job. I have no money, I have nothing productive to do. I need a job, and I plan on getting one. You should get a job.” To which he intelligently replied that he can’t get a job because no one will hire him to work only two days a week.

“Two days a week? Who the hell works two days a week?”

“Well, maybe three.”

“Well, just tell the managers that you have to work around school.” (Which he doesn’t since he gave up Brookdale after half a semester back in October.)

“They’ll make me show them my schedule.”

“So write up a damn schedule and give it to them.”

“Huh.” (A short pause.) “I want to work three nights a week from like 5:00 to 8:00.”

“Are you joking?”

“My social life doesn’t really start until eight. I guess I could work until nine.”

“So, find a restaurant that closes by 10:00 every night and get a job bussing tables.”

“I said NINE, not ten. That’s too late.”

“So, find a restaurant that’s only open for breakfast and lunch–”

“I can’t get up that early. I can’t really be ready for work until like four.”

“Stephen. Get a grip.”

“No. I still don’t understand why I need a job. They should just give me $10 a week. I could live on that.”

“$10? A week? Why should mommy and daddy give you $10 a week?”


“Because what?”


“You’re ridiculous.”

Click here to submit your resume.

By employment One Comment

I am so sick of applying for jobs through websites.  It’s so stupid.  Can’t we just e-mail or fax resumes anymore?  I find it hard to believe that the only way to apply for a job in a Las Vegas hotel is through its website.  That’s no way to be hiring hospitality employees.  Forget it.  When I get there, I’m just going to put on a damn suit and walk down the strip with a handful of resumes and find myself a job the old-fashioned way.  If anyone asks why I didn’t use their website, I’ll just tell them I left my computer at home…

Take away this snow and bring me a passionfruit iced tea.

By california, employment, new jersey, not ruling at life, weather 3 Comments

I’m not feeling very creative at the moment, but I feel like writing. I’m sure that won’t make for a very interesting journal entry, but oh well. I wish we had passionfruit iced tea in New Jersey.

I’m typing this on my brand new laptop.  You may be wondering how a jobless underachiever such as myself can afford a new laptop, but you already know the answer to that question – I can’t.  I am now $2,000 more in debt than I was this time last week.

However, I was rather thrifty and refrained from spending all my money shopping in California (which was insanely difficult considering the excellent shopping conditions – warm weather, lots of sales, tons of surf shops – in Orange County).

Returning to New Jersey from southern California was not an exciting experience for me.  When I boarded the plane yesterday afternoon, it was sunny and 75 degrees.   When I got off in New York, it was dark, windy, and 17 degrees with a wind chill well below zero.  My visit to San Diego definitely made up my mind about whether to ever live somewhere cold again.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice after my somewhat-psychotic entry about my lack of decision-making capabilities.  My post-California plans for relocating are not finalized, but I will be driving to Las Vegas in February and playing it by ear from there.

I cannot wait to have an income of some sort again.  There are only 19 more days until I leave for Las Vegas, and since I’m staying there for at least a month, I will definitely find a job there – hopefully in a big hotel.

Until then, I’m still stuck here in Jersey with absolutely no hope of drinking any passionfruit iced tea…but, at least I can keep myself busy with packing and reading and playing on my new laptop.