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employment

No one needs 27 resumes.

By conversations, employment No Comments

jlbabos: i just don’t want to wake up and come to work anymore.
VTJerseyGirl03: do you want to know how many files are in my “Resumes” folder?
VTJerseyGirl03: like 27
VTJerseyGirl03: no one needs 27 resumes
jlbabos: eh, you need a slightly different one for any job you apply for, don’t you?
VTJerseyGirl03: shoot me.
jlbabos: only if you shoot me, too
VTJerseyGirl03: pow.
jlbabos: bang
VTJerseyGirl03: i don’t think that was effective.  i am still here in front of my computer staring at the 27 resumes.
jlbabos: i’m still stamping books
VTJerseyGirl03: *sigh*

The First Signs of Summer

By employment One Comment

I got a part-time job with an event-planning company here in Vegas, and I worked my first event today.  ShoWest was having a big convention at the Paris for movie theater owners/operators from all over the country.  This afternoon they were showcasing all of 20th Century Fox’s upcoming summer flicks.  In between setting up, working, and breaking down the RoboSurfers, I got to watch a few neat movie trailers and see Will Smith, Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller on stage.

20th Century Fox movies you can look forward to this summer include:
The Day After Tomorrow (Bruce Willis) – Memorial Day
Garfield – June 11
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn) – June 18
I, Robot (Will Smith) – July 16
AVP (Alien vs. Predator) – August 13

Special effects season is approaching quickly. It’s just about time for those summer movies – you know, the action-packed films with hardly any plot that make up for it with flying colors by providing us with out-of-this-world weather and monster scenes. Can’t wait!

One freelance web content writer at your service.

By employment, really great money-making ideas One Comment

My latest source of income is as follows: A law firm in NJ is going to pay me $20 per hour to write all of the information for their new website.

First, let’s discuss this law firm’s current website. It is black with grey text, it contains plagiarized articles from the New Jersey Law Journal, the links don’t work, and it has this techno porn music that plays in the background. It definitely would have worked for a trashy Vegas strip club, but not for a personal injury attorney.

They hired a web designer to design their new site, but he told them that they would have to provide all of their own written content. Since their last attempt at a website was written by a 12-year-old (for real), I’m going to have to start from scratch, which is cool with me because it will take longer!

Basically, I have just been handed a temporary job that pays me $20 an hour to sit out by the pool in my bikini and type under a palm tree whenever I want. This is excellent. I can see the words “Freelance Web Content Developer” on my resume already…

Adventures in the Classified Section

By employment, las vegas 3 Comments

I started off my new-and-improved job search with a grande non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte with one shot of espresso from Starbucks and a copy of today’s Las Vegas Review-Journal. Although I had no success finding my dream job, the R-J’s classified section was definitely good for a few laughs.

Here are my three favorite ads:

_______________________
MECHANIC NEEDED
FOR PAINTING. Will
Train. ASK FOR JEFF
(702) XXX-XXXX.
_______________________

This person can’t hire a painter to paint? He needs a mechanic to do it?
_______________________
BABYSITTER
Granny wanted (over 35).
Part time. CPR, hlth
card,veicle,expernse,
referensesn&background
check. requiered.
702-XXX-XXXX.
_______________________

Does the over-35, part-time Granny need to know how to spell?
_______________________
SALESPERSON NEEDED
Immediately. Hiring ener-
getic,outgoing, depend-
able, people to sell live
designer hermit crabs at
busy cart in local mall
$6 – $7.50/hr. dep. on
exp. commission. Hermit
Hut 503-XXX-XXXX.
_______________________

Live designer hermit crabs? What in the hell makes a hermit crab a designer hermit crab? I am tempted to call the Hermit Hut and ask if they carry Louis Vuitton hermit crabs, or Stuart Weitzman ones perhaps. And aren’t hermit crabs normally a beach souvenir? Shouldn’t they be selling designer lizards or scorpions here in Vegas?

Thanks to Jacky, I was able to stop scanning these ridiculous ads. She got me an interview at the event planning company she works at. I hope it goes well because obviously the classified ads around here are good for entertainment purposes only.