March 4th is the only day of the year that is also a command.

Today I began to realize why I discontinued my career in restaurants after last summer – this realization occured right around the time I waited on some people from Michigan who did not know what time zone they reside in.

If you order the Buttermilk Chicken w/Country Gravy at the House of Blues, expect to weigh at least four pounds more in the morning. I have decided that Country Gravy is simply cellulite in a sauce form, however, I doubt this is what the managers meant when they said we needed to be prepared to provide guests with “descriptive phrases” about the menu items.

Ketchup is a disgusting condiment.