After watching two rather dramatic episodes of JAG (one from Season 1 and one from Season 3), Stephen made a snide remark about my checklist. (If you do not know about the checklist – you’ll have to ask. It’s somewhat embarassing.) He told me the checklist was pathetic. I told him I had no life and nothing to do and that I made the checklist out of boredom. He then said, “I can’t believe that I already signed up for the Coast Guard and I have a job lined up and you don’t and they’re making me either get a job or pay rent and you don’t have to.”
“Stephen,” I replied, “your job doesn’t start until July. I have no job because I’m moving to Las Vegas in 12 days.”
“Yeah, but even if you didn’t go, they wouldn’t make you get a job.”
“Stephen,” I said, “if I weren’t moving to Las Vegas, I’d be moving to Richmond, and if I weren’t moving to Richmond, I’d stay here, and either way, I’d need a job. I have no money, I have nothing productive to do. I need a job, and I plan on getting one. You should get a job.” To which he intelligently replied that he can’t get a job because no one will hire him to work only two days a week.
“Two days a week? Who the hell works two days a week?”
“Well, maybe three.”
“Well, just tell the managers that you have to work around school.” (Which he doesn’t since he gave up Brookdale after half a semester back in October.)
“They’ll make me show them my schedule.”
“So write up a damn schedule and give it to them.”
“Huh.” (A short pause.) “I want to work three nights a week from like 5:00 to 8:00.”
“Are you joking?”
“My social life doesn’t really start until eight. I guess I could work until nine.”
“So, find a restaurant that closes by 10:00 every night and get a job bussing tables.”
“I said NINE, not ten. That’s too late.”
“So, find a restaurant that’s only open for breakfast and lunch–”
“I can’t get up that early. I can’t really be ready for work until like four.”
“Stephen. Get a grip.”
“No. I still don’t understand why I need a job. They should just give me $10 a week. I could live on that.”
“$10? A week? Why should mommy and daddy give you $10 a week?”
“Because.”
“Because what?”
“BECAUSE.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
