Whenever people start hovering around my desk at work, haphazardly asking me questions and telling me what to do, they begin to stress me out. My latest approach to this is to lean back in my chair, cross my arms, dramatically clear my throat, and say, “Okay. You’re driving me crazy. Back away from my desk, and line up against the wall in height order.”

I like this particular reaction because if I say it with a straight face in a sort of low-volume monotone, it really catches people off guard, which secretly entertains me. Plus, it usually does result in everyone shutting up and getting out of my personal space for a few minutes.

It’s possible this no-nonsense behavior on my part could be a direct result of my constant participation in and lack of amusement about several recent interactions similar to the below e-mail exchange.

To: Lisa
From: B
Sent: Monday, March 28, 4:26 p.m.

Subject: FW: Orders 5**9 and 5**8

I don’t know how to respond to this.

B.
__________________________________
To: B
From: S
Sent: Monday, March 28, 4:23 p.m.

Subject: RE: Orders 5**9 and 5**8

Quote 5****7 is good to go. What is the other quote #?

S.

__________________________________
To: S
From: B
Sent: Monday, March 28, 3:58 p.m.

Subject: Orders 5**9 and 5**8

Hey S.,

Can you go into both of these quotes (5****3 & 5****7) and change the bill-to address to the customer’s address? Right now it’s our address. Please send me the revised quotes once this is done.

Thank you,
B.

YES! Let’s bill ourselves for someone’s order!

Oh, and sure, we’ll send you that other quote number. What’s your e-mail address again?

This crazy trip has got me feelin’: silly
And I’m singin’ along to: She Moves In Her Own Way – The Kooks