I’m sitting at my computer at work, and an overwhelming amount of things just happened. First of all, I am so hungover. I think I went to four bars last night. I don’t know who does that on a Wednesday — rock stars or something.

That’s not the point. The point is that I still don’t fully understand how to operate the phone at my desk. While I was trying to transfer a call, I got a text message that said, “I think I’m still drunk,” which made me laugh and hit the wrong button and hung up on someone. Then I glanced over to my monitor and really started to wonder who invented the word “wants.” I mean, look at it. Is it not the most ridiculous-looking word? Maybe I’ve just been working on this flyer too long. Or maybe I’m still drunk, too.

Countdown to nap time: 7.4 hours.