Lisa: “How awesome is it that I bought these sheets over a year ago and then I bought this bedskirt two weeks ago and they match perfectly?”

Robbie Roommate: “Yeah. What kind of sheets are those?”

Lisa: “I don’t know. Whoa! Feel them.”

Robbie Roommate: “Wow. Those are some sex sheets right there.”

Lisa: “What?”

Robbie Roommate: “I don’t even think I could sleep on those sheets. I’d just have–”

(A long pause.)

Lisa: “Well. There was an incomplete sentence.”

Robbie Roommate: “Yeah. I’m not finishing it.”

Lisa: “Those sheets are probably like lingerie to guys. You’d pull them out, put them on your bed for wild sex, and then take them off and just put them away until next time, huh?”

Robbie Roommate: “Huh. Yeah. Probably right.”

Lisa: “These sheets are going on my bed immediately.”

(A short pause.)

Lisa: “Hey Allison! Feel these sheets!”