Saw 3D? Is that for real? Seriously? I kind of feel like I’ve been trying to ignore the fact that Saw exists for, like, going on what? Six years now? Maybe I’m totally off-base for saying this because I refuse to watch it, but I don’t really see how you can justify creating seven freaking movies on the same premise in six years. Six years. Seven movies in six years. Do you see the problem here?

Saw is like the only thing I can think of that’s worse than Jersey Shore. I moved to Virginia Beach to get away from idiots like that, and now I can’t go 24 hours without overhearing some mention of fake tans and fist pumping. Where did that even come from? Fist pumping? I don’t think I ever noticed anyone fist pumping while I was living at the Jersey Shore. I do remember the lack of arm hair though. And Snooki Monster? Too bad I already picked out my Halloween costume.

You know what was a great movie? The Facebook movie. Yes, the Facebook movie. I loved it. The acting was pretty awesome, and it kind of made me think that I should have been just a tad more inspired in the early 2000s, so as to make my millions by inventing an Internet sensation (or writing seven of the same movie in six years). Also, LiveJournal made an appearance, so that’s important. (At least LiveJournal helped someone change the world, you know?)

Am I the only one that is insulted that there are going to be more Saw movies than Star Wars movies? Animated films don’t count because I said so, and don’t even get me started on those Clone Wars toys I keep getting in my Happy Meals. Every time I say, “No toy.” And every time, the McDonald’s employee on the other end of the drive-through speaker hears, “Boy,” and I end up with yet another Clone Wars collectible. (Although, they switched to Mr. Potato Head trick-or-treat buckets this week, so things are looking up.)

Happy Meals are proof that you can buy happiness. Seriously. It says it right on the menu. Happy Meal. Personally, I always order the Mighty Kids Meal with a six-piece, fries and a Diet Coke. That’s a total of about 11 Weight Watchers POINTS, and it’s the only way to order a six-piece McNuggets anymore. You can get a four-piece from the Value Menu, or a 10-piece meal, but seriously? Who the f- needs to be eating 10 nuggets? That’s gross.

Anyway, I wanted to get a Happy Meal for lunch today, but I didn’t because I had one yesterday. I went to Wawa and got a sandwich instead. Coincidentally, I was supposed to eat Wawa yesterday on the way to Busch Gardens, but we got lost looking for one in Williamsburg when we exited the Interstate. Williamsburg is really pretty because, you know, their street signs are all extremely aesthetically pleasing and blend in with the landscape (which means they’re practically non-existent). Hence, we got lost following the signs to Wawa, since there weren’t really any eye-catching signs. There’s not much that’s aesthetically pleasing about golden arches, but we saw them, therefore we had McDonald’s for lunch.

And that’s all I’ve got for today.

This crazy trip has got me feelin’: full
And I’m singin’ along to: Lisztomania – Phoenix

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