Greetings earthlings. Is it hot down there?

Just kidding. I haven’t left the planet. I’m here experiencing the heat wave just like you — I promise. Hell, I even wore shorts to the office today. My mom said I was going to get fired. She said, “You’re always pushing the limits with those people.” Eh, whatever. My friend Stacey the un-receptionist quit last week, so I don’t even care if I get fired. This job is no fun anymore.

On the other hand, my latest restaurant job is pretty awesome.

I went to the Outer Banks last weekend to hang out with The Big A and her family in Corolla. It was a pretty good time. I did a lot of crossword puzzles and we taught her parents how to play Texas Hold ‘Em.

I’ve been going to the beach every afternoon that I have time after work to go swimming in the ocean.

Some random guy approached me in a parking garage the other day, commented on a particular body part of mine and asked me if I wanted to be a dancer in his friend’s upcoming music video, “Gangsta Love,” which will be taped over Labor Day weekend out near the Oceanfront. I politely declined, but I’m starting to think maybe I should have looked into it. I may have just passed up my once-in-a-lifetime chance at embarking on the career path of a rock star.

Allison and I have officially begun our search for a roommate to take Robbie’s place by October 15th when we renew our lease. Feel free to check out our profile — Allisa304 on

Speaking of Allison, she’s on a cruise this week with her family, so when her new boyfriend got arrested in her Jeep the other night, the Jeep got towed away and I had to track it down and go pick it up with $125 of my own cash. Her boyfriend is currently in jail for being a moron — Building 7 in Virginia Beach near the courthouse if you want to go pay him a little visit. I personally am unable to visit Blair in jail due to the fact that upon seeing him, I would probably resort to physical violence and also be arrested.

I had a dentist appointment to get my teeth cleaned this morning. Then I got them all dirty again with a huge sandwich from Arby’s on my way to work. I felt bad eating fast food 30 minutes after my fluoride treatment, but I had to. My coupon for $1.00 of any combo meal was about to expire.

I’ve been trying to cut back on my partying recently. Well, not really. I’d love to party, but apparently all of my guy friends are starting to think that my constant accompanying them out to bars is hindering their chances at scoring hot chicks. So, I’ve been making a conscious effort to stay in and watch TV some nights in order to support their quests for STDs/new girlfriends. It’s all good though — Big Brother 6 and Aqua Teen Hungerforce have been keeping me pretty entertained. Janelle, Kaysar and Meatwad have really been broadening my horizons about a lot of important topics such as comparing real life to chess strategies and the nutritional advantages of a weenie smoothie (lots of protein!). In the meantime, I’ll just keep my fingers crossed that those boys don’t feel too bad when they figure out it wasn’t my fault about the hot chicks.

About that show Big Brother, though — do you ever wonder whose eye that is in the opening credits? I mean, does some person actually get paid to blink on film?

Anyway, back to work. Stay cool.

Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    Since we’re too busy to actually talk to each other via IM or phone, I just thought I’d let you know that I found your entry quite amusing. I especially like the part about you being in a music video. That could have been your big break!
    I totally don’t know what to do without you on my new job. I feel so out of place. Why don’t you come have lunch with me tomorrow or Friday? Pleeeeeeease?!!

  • […] alone (during which I sang karaoke, washed my car, and ate sloppy joes on hot dog buns). I got caught up after a little break. I did a bunch of stuff I’d never done before. I hung out on my porch. I […]

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