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“Good afternoon, TranSystems Corporation. Bon Jovi speaking. How may I help you?”

I woke up at 7:00 this morning and it was pouring. I woke up again at 8:00 and it was pouring. I finally dragged my lazy ass out of bed at 9:00 (still pouring), threw on some clothes and headed to work. I hate coming to work in the rain.

I have to walk to work from the mall parking lot. I have already totalled three umbrellas for this job. Today, I decided to sacrifice my physical appearance for the salvation of my $20 umbrella. It’s not so bad though. I wouldn’t say I’m having a bad hair day; I’m just having a Bon Jovi hair day.

It’s all good. I learned that people really care about me at the office. As soon as I walked in, two people offered me a hair brush. Another just inquired about my health.

Fortunately, looking like a rock superstar has some great advantages. I was able to use my hair to get us some excellent service at lunch. (We took lunch at 11:00. Note that this means I arrived at work at 10:23, did nothing for approximately 37 minutes and then headed out to lunch.) We walked into A.J. Gator’s and I said, “Reservation for three. Bon Jovi.” We got a nice table next to the window and it only took us 40 minutes to get our food.

Now I’m back in the office, pretty much accomplishing nothing. I wrote the first scene of my (new) hit screenplay and e-mailed it to myself and then I sat up front for a few minutes until I got bored of Stacey the un-receptionist asking co-workers if my hair reminded them of Bon Jovi. (“Oh my God, yes!”) You know, I bet Bon Jovi is nowhere near as good as I am at Microsoft Publisher.

I think I’ll hang out here for another hour or so and then head home to drink some more Bud Light (yes, I had some during my 11:00 lunch hour) and watch This Is Spinal Tap or something.

Come to think of it, the last time I was outside in rain like this was at at Bon Jovi concert.

Rock on like an ’80s hair band. It’s Friday.

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