At work this afternoon…

Lisa: “Should I put my cell number?”
Stacey: “Why not? You’ll probably only give it to your friends anyway.”
Lisa: “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Stacey: (Laughs) “You’re so defensive.”
Lisa: “Robbie says I’m confrontational.”
Stacey: “There you are. All ordered.”
Lisa: “Wow, business cards. That’s all I ever really wanted from this job. A business card.”
Stacey: “You don’t have very high expectations, do you?”
Lisa: “Nope. I have extremely high standards, but not very high expectations.”


On the phone this afternoon…

Regina: “Maxim is awesome. It’s so funny. It’s better than Cosmo.”
Lisa: “Yeah, I know. I mean, there’s skinny girls in it like Cosmo, but it’s actually funny and it doesn’t make you feel like you need to buy $800 dresses.”
Regina: “Umm…”
Lisa: “Like, reading Cosmo makes you feel fat, ugly and poor. Reading Maxim only makes you feel fat.”
Regina: (Laughs) “That’s true!”


Late Friday night/early Saturday morning…

Robbie: “Let’s eat something. What should we eat?”
Lisa: “Let’s make omelets.”
Robbie: “What?”
Lisa: “Let’s make omelets.”
Robbie: “I thought you were going to say, ‘Let’s make out.'”
Lisa: (Cocks her head and looks at him like he’s lost his mind.) “Or that.”


Later Friday night/earlier Saturday morning…

Robbie: “This dog smells like a wet fish.”
Lisa: “It says ‘balls’ on your face.”
Robbie: “It better not or I’ll masturbate all over the wet fish.”
Lisa: “You’ll what? ALLISON, ROBBIE JUST SAID HE WAS GOING TO A MASTURBATE ALL OVER YOUR DOG!”
Allison: “Robbie, do you masturbate?”


The cute message I received on my voicemail this afternoon…

“Hey Lisa. I just wanted to call and tell you I had a really good time last night and I appreciate you going out with me. Um, have a good time in Las Vegas and definitely call me when you get back. Talk to you later. Bye.”


On the phone with Tara this afternoon…

Lisa: “I’m going to go apply for a job at Bubba’s if you want to go with me.”
Tara: “It’s usually not a good idea to apply for a job with someone.”
Lisa: “Okay, well, meet me there and I’ll pretend I don’t know you.”
Tara: “Okay. Where is it?”

At Bubba’s…

Tara: (Looks around suspiciously.)
Lisa: (Gives Tara a curious look.)
Tara: “I’m just not sure if I should mention working at Gator’s.”
Lisa: “Oh, hell no. I didn’t.”

In the parking lot of Bubba’s…

Lisa: “So? How’d it go?”
Tara: “Good, I think I got it.”
Lisa: “Yeah, me too. Sweet. Good acting.”
Tara: “What should we do now?”
Lisa: “Nothing, I gotta go home and pack for Vegas.”
Tara: “You’re always going to Vegas.”
Lisa: “I’m just a rock star like that. Don’t be jealous.”

Leave a Reply