Very Important Drunken IM Conversation

By November 25, 2004 conversations

This is what I woke up to find on my computer this morning.

[Please note: some changes/edits have been made to this conversation for the following reasons:  to make me sound like less of an idiot, it was kind of long, to keep it humorous enough to read.]

subtends (9:26:11 PM): Oh no.:-P
Auto response from VTJerseyGirl03 (9:26:11 PM): Bar A (my rock star life is happy to have me back for a few days):-D

VTJerseyGirl03 (2:22:48 AM): oh no?
subtends (2:23:09 AM): lol — Hi!  Happy Turkey Day!!
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:23:25 AM): h
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:23:25 AM): i
subtends (2:24:07 AM): How is everything back at the old homefront?
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:24:33 AM): drunk.
subtends (2:24:46 AM): Bar A?
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:25:13 AM): positive. 
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:25:17 AM): i mean, affirmative.
subtends (2:25:42 AM): Oh man, you’re even getting your nautical terms mixed up.  lol
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:26:14 AM): well, i can still recite the military alphabet up to N.
subtends (2:26:23 AM): Guess what:  I just had a marathon, 6-hour phone conversation with . . . (drumroll, please) . . . ***** *****!
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:26:34 AM): six hours?
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:26:36 AM): for what?
subtends (2:26:37 AM): But can you do it backwards?
subtends (2:26:49 AM): I don’t know!  It just lasted that long.
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:27:28 AM): how can you november, mike, lima, kilo, j— (oops), india, hotel, golf, foxtrot, echo, delta, charlie, bravo, alpha talk on the phone for six hours?

[Edit]

subtends (2:30:30 AM): (Isn’t it 2:30 in the morning there?  Why aren’t you in the rack!?)
subtends (2:30:56 AM): Did Mary Jane go to Bar A with you?
subtends (2:31:08 AM): Can you think of any other questions I can bombard you with in your drunken state?
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:32:06 AM): i am in the rack.  i just got out of the drunken shower.

[Edit]

subtends (2:32:44 AM): That sounded like Pig Latin.
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:33:02 AM): where?
subtends (2:34:29 AM): You know, Pig Latin, the crazy language where you systematically transpose the initial consonant to the end of the word to make it sound really silly?
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:35:28 AM): right, i know what f***ing pig latin is.

[Edit]

subtends (2:43:26 AM): Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta . . .
VTJerseyGirl03 (2:45:57 AM): echo, foxtrot, golf, hotel, india JULIET, kilo, lima, mike (f***ing bastard ass), november o p q r s t u v w x y zulu.
subtends (2:46:06 AM): LOL
subtends (2:46:28 AM): Oscar, Papa, Queen, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Whiskey, X-Ray, Yankee . . .

[I stop responding.  Rich types military acronyms for 16 minutes.]

subtends (3:02:56 AM): Hmmm . . . (I’m just an admin weenie, so I have to think a little here) . . .
subtends (3:03:36 AM): Whoa.  Don’t even get me started on marksmanship ditties . . .
subtends (3:04:04 AM): Sling-shot, brass check, tap the forward assist!  Sweep the sights, check the sights, weapon on safe!  Ejection-port cover closed, Sir!
subtends (3:05:09 AM): Rob Nieratko told me this one in high school:  MARINES – “My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment”!  OohRah!  lol
subtends (3:06:06 AM): Well, minus the “s.”
subtends (3:06:21 AM): ARE YOU STILL THERE???
subtends (3:06:25 AM): HAVE YOU FALLEN ASLEEP???
subtends (3:06:30 AM): Psst.
subtends (3:06:35 AM): Psssssssst!
subtends (3:06:38 AM): Hey.
subtends (3:06:40 AM): Wake up.
subtends (3:06:42 AM): WAKE UP.
subtends (3:07:04 AM): Gobble, gobble.
subtends (3:08:06 AM): Four score and seven years ago . . .

[Rich continues reciting the Gettysburg Address.]

subtends (3:13:14 AM): This was the fortieth line that I typed without getting a response.  That probably means that you’re passed out.  Or throwing up.
subtends (3:14:09 AM): I guess I should say good night now.
subtends (3:15:40 AM): Have a great day today, and enjoy your turkey!!  I might try to give you a call sometime over the weekend!  I’m off until Monday!
subtends (3:16:04 AM): Good night, Lisa!!!

[An hour goes by.]

VTJerseyGirl03 (4:15:59 AM): oops.  fell asleep.
VTJerseyGirl03 (4:16:06 AM): happy thanksgiving.
VTJerseyGirl03 (4:16:13 AM): will read all this tomorrow.

Wow. There is only one thing I have to say about this.
MARINES (with the “S”): My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment, Sir!

Join the discussion 3 Comments

  • Proper Military Acronyms
    We prefer:
    Muscles Are Required. Intelligence Not Expected Sir
    Macho Assholes Riding In Navy Equiptment
    however its still better than ARMY
    Aren’t Ready for the Marines Yet
    I miss Bar A…ah well just a few more months

    • Lisa says:

      Re: Proper Military Acronyms
      happy thanksgiving!
      Bar A. did you know that Bar A is now located in Lake Como, NJ? the town of South Belmar has officially changed it’s name to Lake Como. i think that is ridiculous. =P
      when i come visit NJ in the summer, i will buy you a drink in Lake Como.

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