Here’s what’s bothering me at the moment:

1. Working with people from high school. It makes me feel like a fat fourteen-year-old with braces and bad bangs. Although it may save me thousands in therapy down the road, we all know how I currently feel about waiting tables, so I’m not so sure it’s going to last.

2. When people try so hard to change your mind about something, get you to actually change your mind about it, and then come to their senses and agree that you were right…before you changed your mind.

3. Guys who excessively text-message. I’m sorry — there is nothing worse than watching a fashion victim who is capable of talking to anyone at a bar stand in the middle of a restaurant and stare intently at his Motorola while franctically pushing numbers, formulating a sentence to ask some girl what she’d like to do for their second date. “What are you doing, Brian? You look like a bad text-messaging commercial.”

“I’m talking to this girl because I don’t want to talk to her.”

“I’m going to look past the fact that that sentence made no sense. Why don’t you want to talk to her on the phone?”

“I’m nervous. We’re going on a date later.”

“You’re nervous? Right. Where are you going?”

“She just messaged me and said she wants to just come hang out at my house.”

“That’s not a date. Don’t you think you should at least take her out to dinner? You could discuss T9Word.”

But, I take it back. There is one thing worse — being on the receiving end of excessive text-messaging. Having lines like “Good night you” and “I really want to kiss you right now” and “Where did you go” constantly appear on your phone starts to get a little intrusive after awhile.

4. Waiting tables with a college degree. You can all take your too-sweet-for-me iced teas and your overcooked steaks and your lack of sour cream for the baked potato and shove it. I don’t even eat dinner anymore, why the hell should I give two shits about yours? I have a college degree in communication studies and the only people I communicate with are nagging, gluttonous imbeciles consuming massive amounts of fried food and fattening alcohol.

And that’s about it – four things. Those are the four things I find most irritating at the moment. What’s bothering you?

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