In love and afraid of commitment (not what you think)

By January 11, 2004 california, travel

I’m in love with San Diego. Southern California is absolutely beautiful. It’s perfect here. The weather is gorgeous, palm trees line the streets, the sun sets over the ocean, and the mountains and cliffs just east of the shores are amazing. I wish I were living here.

Has anyone noticed my decision-making dilemma? I can’t make a decision and stick with it for more than a week. Let us review just a few of the decisions I’ve made and failed to follow through with in the past year:

Move to San Diego
Move to Hawaii
Move back to Blacksburg
Stay in school for an extra year
Go to grad school for Communications
Go to grad school for an MBA
Work as a subsitute teacher in Wall for some extra cash
Wait tables in Wall while I search for a job
Pursue a career in the hospitality industry
Pursue a career in public relations
Visit Jamie in Florida
Apply to law school
Move to Richmond
Move back to southwestern Virginia to manage a Beamer’s
Work at Joe McAuliffe Training Systems

The only decisions I have managed to stick with are these:

Move home for the summer
Discontinue dating/escapades with boys
Apply to Navy Officer Candidate School
Visit Joelle in California

Here is the decision I am currently faced with:

Move to San Diego v. Move to Las Vegas

Since I am living on dwindling funds, I have to make a decision soon before I end up stuck in New Jersey working until I have enough saved up again to make the first month’s payment on an apartment somewhere.

Surely my decision-making skills have been daunted by the uncertainty stemming from my Navy application. Of course I am keeping my fingers crossed in the hopes that I get accepted, but the wait is driving me crazy. I know I want to get out of New Jersey, and I know I want to be somewhere warm. However, I have no idea how long I’ll be living wherever I go, how much stuff I should move with me, or what kind of job I should find when I get there.

This all started with my three-mile run at Newport Back Bay the other day, but it was our day-trip to San Diego yesterday that really tampered with my decision to move to Las Vegas. Who would want to go live in the desert when they could reside in a place so beautiful? Driving down the 405, seeing the Pacific Ocean on the right and the Santa Ana Mountains on the left was exhilarating. We spent the morning in Seaport Village walking in and out of quaint little shops along the San Diego Bay. The USS Midway had pulled into its new permanent location earlier yesterday morning (it’s being turned into a museum), and we were able to walk around it and take pictures. We had lunch at Buster’s Beach House, where I ordered the Hawaiian Rice Bowl and ate it with chopsticks.

Later, we crossed the bridge onto Coronado Island and took pictures of the San Diego skyline across the bay. We made our way up the coast to Point Loma to watch the sun set, and then headed up to Mission Beach and Pacific Beach for some shopping and dinner. It was an awesome day.

I spent part of today looking for roommates and jobs in San Diego. I know my flight home is on Tuesday, but I can postpone it for $25. There’s a car-rental place in Newport Beach, and I have enough clothes to get me through a few more days. I know I must sound crazy, but San Diego is a beautiful city – and the aircraft carriers in the bay definitely give it extra points in my book. Joelle and I watched the sun set last night from Point Loma. The vivid colors, the waves, the surfers, and the cliffs – it was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Imagine doing that every night…

Join the discussion 5 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    Of the two…
    I would go with San Diego. Afterall, who in his or her right mind would want to move to (take up permanent residence in) Las Vegas? 😛

  • my oh so humble advice
    I currently am also thinking about moving and what I want to do in May when Sean finally graduates. For the moment (or the next few months) I am going to be in Bozeman, MT which is beautiful, yet frigid. I love it here, and I hate it here. The thing I have learned in moving from NJ to Hawaii to Montana is that a place is what you make of it. Granted, I am searching for somewhere with palm trees and no more snow. And of course I would LOVE to move back to Hawaii, but no matter where you are it can be fun or it can be awful. So although I would love to say that this summer when Sean and I move to Santa Monica everything will be great and wonderful because I am finally back to warmth and palm trees, I know in reality it is up to me to make it a fun place. I also know that I will miss Bozeman terribly when I move. That probably didn’t help at all, but I tried 🙂 Hope you enjoy the rest of your time in San Diego, however long that may be.

  • two things…
    first of all, while i’ve never been to cali, and therefore have nothing to base a comparison on, vegas is a seriously awesome town, there’s nowhere else like it in the world. the desert is beautiful in its own, weird way, probably not as beautiful as san diego, but still cool. second of all, why the hell are you spending anytime on the computer whatsoever? dude, it was 2.7 degrees here on saturday, enjoy that sunshine and heat while you still can!

  • cymric says:

    I agree with MJ, wherever you go, it’ll be what you make of it. But if there were some sort unavoidable karma where things would suck no matter where you were on the planet, if you lived in a beautiful place, at least you’d have that beauty. I used to hate the idea of a desert, personally, but it has started to grow on me this year.
    While I did take a job that could be on a path to staying in Tallahassee, I’m thinking of moving in a year or so. And I will be right back to where I was a few months ago…when I could go virtually anywhere.

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